


Memento Mori

by deansbrave



Series: Tight Squeeze [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Blood Drinking, Bloodplay, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Demon Dean, Demonic Possession, Derogatory Language, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fat Shaming, More plot than porn, Multi, Name-Calling, Nic is a badass witch my dudes, Original Character Death(s), Plot With Porn, Post-Demon Dean Winchester, Witch OC - Freeform, Witchcraft, Witches, i appreciate it tho, like for real my dudes why do you stick around??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8459308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansbrave/pseuds/deansbrave
Summary: Remember that you must die





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I literally started working on this the day I posted the last chapter of Tight Squeeze, I was that excited lol. So thank you all for the love, and support. Remember to drop a comment, and leave kudos too!

She stood there for what felt like hours just on the edge of the walkway.  The little cottage was far out in the woods, and she’d been here before, many times, but this was the first time entrance was denied to her. 

 

She didn’t know why.

 

So she stood there for hours in silence, waiting for the old woman to open the door.  It wasn’t until nearly sunset that evening that she saw the old woman in the window.  She stood their only a moment before she passed on.

 

She waited longer.  It felt like she was stuck there, at that spot.  It didn’t matter if she wanted to take a step forward, or back.  She couldn’t.

 

Dawn came, and she was still there, and the old woman in the cottage still hadn’t spoken to her.  By noon the front door opened, and the old woman stared at her.  She sighed, seeming for all the world that she was put upon, and finally stepped out of the cottage.

 

“You brought this on yourself Nic” The old woman finally spoke to her. Nic called her old, but she must’ve only been just over fifty.

 

Nic just stared at her, body shaking with effort as she tried to move, speak, anything.

 

“Only humans can cross this warding but you… something changed didn’t it?” The old woman narrowed her eyes at Nic, and just sighed again.  She pulled a knife from her pocket, cut her thumb, and used the blood to draw and upside down cross on the small red heads forehead.

 

“ _Malefica Venite_ ” She hissed.

 

Nic stumbled forward dropping down to her knees.

 

“You can some in now” The old woman said “Grab your things, lunch is almost done.”

 

Nic sat there for a few more moments before she managed to get up, and headed to her car.  When she stepped inside the old woman was standing in front of the stove.  Nic dropped her bags right there.

 

“Don’t make a mess girl, get your things upstairs, and get washed… you reek like high hell.”

 

Nic rushed to the old woman, and grabbed her in a tight hug.  The small blonde haired woman hesitated for a moment before she hugged back.

 

“Have things really been so bad?”

 

Nic tried to stop the tears that threatened to come “You have no idea Moira.”

 

* * *

 

When Nic finally came back downstairs, washed, and dressed in black yoga pants, and a loose fitting gray sweater, she felt better than she had in weeks.  Moira’s cottage had that effect on the girls she’d trained in the craft over the years.

 

“You’re a well learned witch Nic, well beyond anything I can teach you” Moira said as she entered into the kitchen.  The table was set, and the food hot, and waiting “So why are you here?”

 

“There’s always more for me to learn” Nic smiled as she sat down.

 

“What happened? I’ve never seen you crying like that, you were the strongest girl that came here.”

 

Nic just shook her head, and reached for half of a grilled cheese sandwich. “Men.”

 

“So you need a love spell then? I thought you would be beyond that sort of thing… or at least able to make it for yourself.”

 

“What I need… is to relearn who I am.  I love them… but for many years I neglected that _this_ is who I am.  I am a witch, and I am a hunter, and I save people, and I help as many as I can…”

 

“Those boys sure did a number on you” Moira narrowed her eyes. 

 

“The Winchesters will do that to a girl.”

 

“Winchesters!” Moira was on her feet in an instant.  “Nic, I taught you better than to get caught up with Winchesters!”

 

Nic scoffed “I met them years before they made their name known Moira.  I’ve been with those boys for almost nine years.”

 

“Has it really been so long since you were last here?”

 

“I guess” Nic shrugged “But that’s why I’m here now.”

 

“I heard Dean Winchester was dead” Moira spoke calmly as she sat down.

 

“He is.”

 

“And his brother?”

 

“Calls me every day to make sure I’m alright.”

 

“And you love him?”

 

“I do.”

 

“Then why are you here?”

 

“I can’t be with him right now… I just… I need time.  Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I’m still grieving too.”

 

Moira nodded. “You want time to ignore the outside world, and focus on who you are.”

 

“I want to be me again, and I want to be a powerful witch again.”

 

Moira barked out a laugh, and Nic looked at her confused.

 

“You’ve always been a powerful witch, girl.  Magic as strong as yours doesn’t just ebb, it just needs to me worked.  Like a muscle.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve always been a natural, I just nurtured that talent. Didn’t you ever wonder why it was always so easy for you to just pick up magic? Didn’t you wonder why a novice could cast such powerful, and potent magic? You consider yourself a student, but most students spend decades becoming good at the craft, you were practicing on your own by the age of twenty.  Five years after you started.”

 

“I never thought…”

 

“No, you didn’t.  But you are a powerful witch Nic, and everything that goes bump in the night should fear you for that.”

 

“Tell that to the King of Hell.  And all the Angels for that matter.”

 

Moira just stared at her for a moment.

 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

 

* * *

 

Nic stared at her phone.  It had been two weeks since she’d come to Moira’s cottage, and two weeks since she’d taken a call from Sam.  Yet every day, same time, like clockwork his name flashed in the caller I.D.

 

“You haven’t spoken with him since you got here” Moira noted.  They were in the den off the living room, looking over magical texts, and taking stock of ingredients.  What they had, what they had to get.

 

“It’s… hard to talk to him sometimes.”

 

“Just speak to the boy you idiot, obviously he cares about you, and you care about him.”

 

“Moira-”

 

She leaned over the desk, and pressed the accept call button.  “You’re welcome.”

 

“ _-Ic… Nic?_ ”

 

She pressed the phone to her ear, and headed out of the den.

 

“Yeah… hey Sam.”

 

“ _Nic! Where the hell have you been, you haven’t answered my calls or my texts in like two weeks!_ ”

 

“Yeah, I know I’ve… been busy.”

 

“ _Where are you? I’ve got a lead on Dean, and I could really use you_.”

 

“I can’t help… I’m busy.”

 

“ _Busy? With what? What could be more important than finding Dean?_ ”

 

“It’s not even him Sam! It’s just… a demon wearing his fucking meatsuit because that’s what they do! They do cruel shit like that, didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe Crowley requisitioned Dean’s body for one of his fucking hellspawn because he gets off on shit like that?!”

 

“ _That’s exactly why I want to bring him home! He…_ ” Sam took a deep breath over the line, and spoke again, more calmly this time “ _He deserves to be put to rest, to not have his body desecrated like that._ ”

 

Nic shook her head as she leaned against the wall by the front door. “I can’t Sam… I’m still grieving too, and I need time.”

 

“ _… I miss you._ ”

 

“I miss you too but just… when I’m with you all I can think about is Dean.  It just… it hurts.”

 

“ _We’ll get through this Nic.  We always do._ ”

 

“I know.”

 

“ _I’ll take care of this lead by myself just… please call… if you need anything or just… call._ ”

 

“I promise Sam, I will.”

 

 _“I love you._ ”

 

“Me too.”

 

Nic pulled the phone back from her ear, and hit end.  When she headed back to the den something just out the window caught her eye.  She stopped there, and stared feeling her heart stop for a moment, and then begin to race.

 

“Dean?”

 

* * *

 

Moira pulled back the curtain to find the man still standing there, still smirking, eyes black as night.

 

“He can’t cross the warding.  Whatever he is, he will not get in here.”

 

Nic sat curled in on herself in the arm chair on the other side of the living room.

 

“There’s a spell” Moira said “Something that can send him away for a while so that we can go outside.  It won’t keep him away from here long, but it’ll give us a chance.”

 

“A chance for what?” Nic asked quietly.

 

“A chance to fight.  Enough time to gather everything we need for spells, and for you to get your weapons ready.”

 

“I don’t want to fight him Moira.”

 

“It’s not him.”

 

“I know that, I do…”

 

“Call Sam.  He can help.”

 

“I can’t do that either.”

 

“We need the help” Moira insisted.

 

“You said I’m a powerful witch right?” Nic stood up, and wiped her eyes “Then I’m powerful enough for this.  We can cast him away, get what we need together, and then fight if we have to fight.”

 

“We’ll have to go outside.  Just on the edge of the warding” Moira said.

 

“Fine.”

 

“I’ll get everything together. Just… prepare yourself for what you might have to do.”

 

Within a half hour Moira had gathered all the necessary ingredients, and was leading Nic outside.

 

“Well hey Sweetheart! So glad you finally decided to come out, and see me.”

 

Nic stopped dead in her tracks, and looked stared at Dean.  Just hearing his voice after so long was enough to almost ruin her, and everything she had accomplished in these last two weeks.

 

“What’s the matter? Not even gonna talk to me now? What about a kiss huh? I’ve missed you, haven’t you missed me?”

 

“Come on girl.” Moira said tugging on her elbow “Show no fear, show no weakness, _he_ should be scared of _you_.”

 

Nic nodded, and followed Moira to end of the walkway.

 

“Where’s Sammy? Or did you two split?”

 

“Sam’s fine.  Looking for you.”

 

“Don’t speak to him, don’t acknowledge him” Moira snapped.  Nic nodded, and Dean looked at Moira tilting his head, eyes flicking from black to green.  She didn’t know which was more menacing.

 

“Who the fuck are you?”

 

“Apparently all this girl’s got anymore” Moira said, keeping her attention on the ingredients as she measured it all into the brass bowl.  Moira shoved the book of matches into Nic’s hands.

 

“You must cast him away.”

 

“Cast me away? Really?” Dean folded his arms over his chest, and looked at Nic.  “You really think that’s gonna work Sweetheart? I found you once, I can find you again you know that.”

 

“Stop calling me that, you’re not Dean.”

 

“Oh I’m Dean alright Sweetheart.  New, and improved.  See when I died… the mark brought me back. Better than ever” Dean held out his arm, and Nic swore she saw the Mark of Cain pulse.

 

“The Mark of… are you fucking kidding me Nic? This just keeps getting more, and more ridiculous!” Moira snapped.

 

“I didn’t know…”

 

“No, of course you didn’t.  No expects the person they love to try to kill them, and then get resurrected as a demon.  You gotta admit Nic, our lives are pretty fucked up” Dean chuckled.

 

“I’m stronger than I was” Nic said “And you won’t hurt me again.”

 

“Are you sure about that? I can do a lot more than I could as a human.”

 

“And I’m a fucking witch Dean!  I can do just as much fucking damage if not more!”

 

“We’ll see Sweetheart, go ahead, and cast me away.  But I’ll be back.”

 

“And I’ll be ready.”

 

“Not even close to what I have in store for you Nic.”

 

“Now!” Moira yelled, Nic lit the matches, and dropped the book in the brass bowl.  When she looked back up, Dean was gone.

 

* * *

 

“That’s everything” Nic said placing the final gun on the table.  “All the bullets are either rock salt shots, or have devils traps carved into them.”

 

“And this?” Moira asked picking up the long silver blade.

 

“Angel Blade.  It can kill pretty much everything.”

 

“Where the hell did you get an Angel Blade?”

 

“From the Angel I killed.”

 

“…You’re a very strange fucking witch Nic.”

 

Nic chuckled. “Yeah, you’re tellin’ me.”

 

And then the lights went out.  Moira was at the window in an instant pulling the curtain back.

 

“It’s him.  If he could knock out the power… he’s a powerful demon Nic.  You should call-”

 

“I’m not calling Sam.  He doesn’t need to deal with this.”

 

And suddenly the lights came back on.

 

“It’s a scare tactic. He’s just trying to rile us up” Nic sighed checking her hand gun again, making sure all the devils trap bullets were loaded.

 

“Well… it’s working.”

 

* * *

 

Three days later, and Dean was still there, just on the edge of the warding testing his strength, and his boundaries.

 

“You need to stop staring at him.”

 

“He’s getting under my skin, and I’m sick of looking at him.”

 

“We just have to be ready for him.”

 

“I am ready.”

 

“No you’re not.  You need to calm down, and think about what you’re doing.”

 

“Fine.  Yes.  You’re right.” Nic nodded, finally stepping away from the window.

 

“Go to your room, alright? Get some sleep.”

 

“Yeah… that sounds like a good idea.” Nic agreed, and headed upstairs.

 

She made a very big mistake later that day.

 

* * *

 

Nic walked down the walkway, Moira was in her own bedroom getting some rest, so she wouldn’t know.  Nic’s hand clenched hard on her gun as she glared at Dean.

 

“You know I removed the warding” She snapped “Why haven’t you come in yet?”

 

Dean smirked, eyes flicking back.  “Just waiting for you Sweetheart.”

 

“You can’t touch me Dean” Nic raised the gun, pulling back the hammer.

 

“You sure about that Sweetheart? Cause all I gotta do is blink” and suddenly Dean wasn’t in front of her “And I’m behind you.”

 

Nic tried to turn around but instead Dean grabbed her throat tightly in his grip.

 

“What’re you gonna do? Try to kill me again?”

 

“No, I’m gonna do something way, way worse” Dean promised, and pulled the shoulder of Nic’s gray cable knit sweater to the side.  Nic struggled as hard as she could to get away but Dean was too strong.

 

“ _Menat-_ ”

 

“Ah, ah, ah!” Dean snapped hand over Nic’s mouth “Can’t have you casting off spells with that pretty little mouth Nic.”

 

Dean’s other hand trailed up her trembling body until his hand rested on the exposed skin.

 

“You know… these anti-possession tattoos are a bitch and a half to get around” Dean sighed, pressing his hand flat against the tattoo on Nic’s chest. Nic felt the scream in her throat as Dean’s hand began to burn hot against her skin.  “Easy Sweetheart, you won’t feel a damn thing in a minute here.”

 

When Dean pulled his hand away the skin was red and blistering, and the tattoo was gone.  Before she knew it black smoke was filling her mouth, and her vision.

 

* * *

 

Nic was awake.  She was awake, and she could see.

 

“Where oh where is your new friend Sweetheart?” Dean asked as he stepped into the house. “Don’t worry about answering me, I can just find her room myself.”

 

_No!_

 

“No? Well maybe you shoulda thought about that before you played with fire.”

 

Dean headed down the upstairs hallway only to stop in front of the first mirror.

 

“Well ain’t I just the sexiest thing to walk this planet?” Dean asked admiring the reflection of Nic’s face in the mirror.

 

“I might ride your body for a while Sweetheart, been missin’ you.”

 

Dean finally turned away from the mirror, but not before flicking his eyes black, and blowing a kiss at his reflection.  Dean finally managed to find the door to Moira’s room.

 

_Don’t!_

 

“Don’t worry Sweetheart, me and your new mommy are just gonna have a little chat” Dean assured even as he pulled the first blade from seemingly nowhere.  “But then again maybe not.  I mean… how would it feel to have your best student, the girl you thought of as a daughter murder you? Your face will the last thing she sees, and she’ll know her death was your fault.”

 

_Please no!_

 

“It’s too late for begging sweetheart, you brought this on yourself.” Dean chuckled pushing the door open.  Moira laid in her bed, back to Dean as he walked quietly across the room.

 

“Moira?” He called, and he never knew pretending to be Nic would be this easy.  Sweet voice, deer in the headlights look, a few tears for effect, and bam.  Nic to a ‘T’.

 

“Nic? What is it girl?” Moira yawned turning to face her.

 

“It’s just… I made a mistake, I messed up” Dean whimpered.

 

“Nonsense.  Everything is fine.” Moira waved him off.

 

“Well you see… that’s where you’re wrong” Dean flicked Nic’s eyes to black, and Moira screamed.

 

She began to cast, anything, and everything she knew.

 

“None of that is gonna work on me Mommy Dearest.  I have the First Blade… I’m a Knight of Hell, and more powerful than your cheap little parlor tricks.”

 

Moira was pressed against the wall on the farthest side of her room.

 

“There’s no getting away from this” Dean smirked.

 

* * *

 

“Love the new Meat Suit” Crowley said watching as Nic’s body sauntered into the main room of the penthouse, Dean’s body over her shoulder.

 

“Thought I’d have a little fun” Dean shrugged placing his body in one of the arm chairs.  “I do miss being tall, and damn I’m a handsome fucker” He said thoughtfully.

 

“True but Kitten there, she’s got a wealth of knowledge in that head of her’s, and a sexy little body to boot.”

 

Dean glared at Crowley “Hands off the merchandise, even when I’m not wearing it this all belongs to me” Dean pointed at himself making his point clear.

 

“Wasn’t expecting that from you, and your whorish ways as of late, but whatever you say squirrel” Crowley held his hands up in defense.

 

“Just make sure handsome over here doesn’t start to rot, I’ve got some fun to be had.”

 

“Do try not to cause too much of a ruckus” Crowley sighed.  Dean was gone before he’d even finished his sentence.

 

* * *

 

The first hit Sam got for his search brought of security footage of a very familiar short woman.  She was in a bar fighting more than one exceptionally large man.  When her eyes turned black Sam knew it wasn’t just Nic being her usual charming self.

 

“First Dean, now Nic” Sam sighed pushing his hair back in frustration “Fucking great.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of blood in this chapter, that is all the warning I can really give. Also Dub-Con.

“I don’t really think that Kitten would appreciate you… dolling her up like this” Crowley said sitting in the viewing room of the boutique.

 

“Shut up, I’ve never a girl before!” Dean snapped as he came out of the dressing room. “Also why doesn’t Nic wear dresses all the time? Look at her ass?” Dean turned his ass to the mirror, and looked over his shoulder.

 

“Makes you miss your body doesn’t it? Can’t exactly do anything sexy to the Meat Suit when you’re wearing it.”

 

“I’m almost done having fun” Dean shrugged, running his hands down the front of the maroon bodycon dress.

 

“Don’t you think Nic might be a bit too pudgy to pull off that dress?” Crowley asked indicating to her rounded belly.

 

“Hell no” Dean responded.  The dress fit her shape well, accentuating her ass, and her cleavage.  The dress had a turtle neck, and was sleeveless, and Dean swore that after he was done he was going to go back to his body, and make Nic wear this exact dress while he fucked her senseless.

 

“Whatever you say Dean, I’m just here cause I have the credit card.”

 

“You’re damn right, now find me some shoes.”

 

* * *

 

Dean sauntered into the bar, purposely swinging his hips, smirking to himself as every guy in the bar turned to watch him.  This was going to be too fun.  Dean probed for Nic, trying to bring her consciousness to the surface but she evaded him.  She was stuck deep in her head.  Dean shrugged; she’d know about this later.  When Dean went back to his body, he’d whisper in her ear every single horrible thing he did in her body while he fucked her hard into the mattress.

 

* * *

 

“Well, well, well if it isn’t Sammy?”

 

He walked slowly into the bar.  It was a complete wreck.  Blood everywhere, broken furniture, and in the center of it all… Nic.  Tight little red body con dress, bare feet, long red waves wild, and messy.

 

“I don’t know who you are-”

 

“Oh yes you do.  Yes you do, don’t play that game Sammy” Nic waved around the First Blade, and Sam knew. 

 

“Dean?”

 

“Bingo! Your big brother is taking your girlfriends Meat Suit for a spin.”

 

“You let Nic go.”

 

“Gee, you see I would but… man she’s sexy as fuck, and her body’s all mine to play with, and the things I’ve already done? You wouldn’t believe it.”

 

“Dean… you need to let her go.  You don’t want to hurt her-”

 

“I haven’t hurt Nic at all. But she’s been watching, and she knows… every little thing I’ve done, every person I’ve killed, every time I’ve touched her” Dean trailed his hand down his body, and under the hem of the dress.  Sam’s jaw clenched.

 

“This turnin’ you on little brother? Been weeks since you seen your precious little Princess right? Man I bet you just wanna fuck her _tight_ little cunt… am I right?” Dean pulled his hand away from under his dress, stood up straight popping out Nic’s chest putting all the cleavage on display.

 

“Dean… I swear to God-”

 

“Or what Sam? What’re you gonna do to me? What’re you gonna do to your _brother_? What’re you gonna do to _Nic_?”

 

Sam raised the gun.

 

“Wow” Dean dropped his arms at his side.  “You’ll point that at Nic, but you’d never once point that at me if I was in my body.”

 

“Dean please.”

 

“Whatever Sammy, at least our girl knows now.”

 

And Dean was gone with Nic’s body.

 

Sam dropped to his knees, and finally breathed again.

 

* * *

 

When Nic opened her eyes everything was blurry.  She felt like she was waking up from a week long drinking binge; her body ached, her mouth was cotton dry.  Everything fucking hurt.

 

“Hey, hey, easy Sweetheart, you were havin’ a nightmare.”

 

Nic looked up, and Dean filled her vision, and she couldn’t believe it.  He was there, and he was okay.  She grabbed his face in her hands, and felt tears in her eyes.

 

“Dean?”

 

“Yeah, hey it’s me Sweetheart” He said gently.

 

“I thought you were dead” She whispered. 

 

“It was just a nightmare, I promise” Dean whispered back, pressing his lips to hers gently.  Nic pulled away tears running down her cheeks.

 

“I was so scared” She sighed.

 

“It’s okay, I’m here” Dean promised kissing her again, and slowly his kisses trailed down her jaw to her neck.

 

“Dean” She whispered, and she didn’t know if she wanted him to stop, or to keep going.

 

“I’m here Sweetheart” He said again, and she felt his hot breath right on her thighs pushing her dress up to her waist.  Before she could even comprehend what was really happening, where she was, what had happened to her, Dean was between her thighs, and thrusting into her.

 

“Dean!” She hissed, hands grabbing his shoulders.

 

“I got you Sweetheart” Dean growled, leaning down to capture Nic’s lips in his own.  When he pulled back his eyes were black, and Nic screamed.  Dean grabbed her throat, and squeezed hard.

 

“Relax Nic.  It’s not like you don’t want me” Dean smirked, hips still thrusting at the steady hard pace. Nic glared at him, hands grabbing at his face again, this time dragging her nails down his skin in retaliation,

 

“You really think that’s gonna do anything but turn me on?” Dean growled, fucking harder. He squeezed Nic’s throat harder, and she began to see black spots in her vision.  Her hands slipped from Dean’s face to his chest as she pounded against the hard muscle.

 

“What’s wrong Sweetheart? Havin’ trouble breathing?”

 

Nic felt her blood run cold at the pure evil on Dean’s face.  He really was getting off on this.  Finally his grip eased just the smallest amount, and Nic was able to get a good breath in just as Dean stopped, and looked at Nic for a moment.

 

“What?” She hissed.

 

“I just had a great idea” Dean’s smirk grew, all teeth now.  He pulled out, flipped Nic over, and gripped both her wrists in one hand behind her back before thrusting back in.  Nic cried out, and was both surprised, and disappointed with herself when she realized that it was all pleasure.

 

Dean started fucking her in earnest again, and she was ashamed of the moan that made its way out of her mouth.

 

“Knew it Sweetheart” Dean growled “Knew you wanted me. You always want me.”

 

The second Dean’s free hand reached down to rub her clit she was coming.  Dean followed over the edge almost immediately after.  Dean growled again, biting down on Nic’s shoulder hard enough to draw blood.

 

She was panting when Dean rolled her back over, and she just laid there, panting, glaring at the demon.

 

“I fucking hate you” She growled.

 

“What’d you think I was gonna do huh? I’m a fuckin’ demon Nic.”

 

Nic just kept glaring at him.  “I’m bleeding.”

 

Dean grinned “Which reminds me of my great idea.”

 

Dean reached over to the night stand beside the bed, and pulled out a large hunting knife from the drawer.

 

“Knife in the nightstand… classy.”

 

Dean just chuckled pulling the blade from its sheath, looking it over. “There are a lot of different things I could do with this you know” Dean began, and pressed the tip of the blade to Nic’s pulse point.

 

“I could slit your throat” He ran the blade gently down to her chest “I could plunge it right into your heart” He ran the blade down to her stomach “I could disembowel you.”

 

“Then what’s stopping you?” Nic asked.

 

“Because fucking with your head is way more fun than just killing you” Dean said, and pulled the knife from her body, and pressed it to his wrist.  “Which is why I’m gonna do this instead” Dean cut deep, the blood running freely down his forearm.

 

“Dean… what are you doing?” Nic felt her heart start to race… he couldn’t be?

 

“You remember… back when Sam was gettin’ high on demon blood?  It did some pretty cool shit for him cause he was psychic.  What do you think it would do to you since you’re a witch?”

 

“No!” Nic raised her hands, trying to push Dean back.  Instead an invisible force held her in place keeping her from moving.

 

“You keep forgetting I’m a demon Nic.  If I want to do something, I fucking do it.”

 

Nic tried to struggle, she really did, but he was stronger.  Dean gripped her jaw, prying her mouth open as he held his bleeding wrist right over her mouth.

 

A few drops landed on her tongue, and Nic tried to turn her head away, but Dean held her face right there.

 

“C’mon Sweetheart, just drink it up” Dean pressed his bleeding wrist right to her mouth.  She couldn’t stop the flow of the blood into her mouth as it was forced down her throat.  Within seconds she stopped struggling.  Another minute, and she was suckling.  Another, and Dean freed her from his hold.  Nic held his arm tightly to her mouth, and continued drinking.

 

“There you go Sweetheart.  When Sam drank, he just drank from whatever fuckin’ low level run of the mill demon he could find.  Imagine how much better it is drinking from me.”

 

Nic hummed against his wrist.  Dean let her drink for a few more seconds before he pried his wrist away. Nic stared up at him with the most betrayed look she could muster, blood coating her mouth, and chin.

 

“Easy Sweetheart.  Moderation is key.”

 

Nic glared at Dean again, and he just laughed.

 

“Don’t ever change Nic, your defiance is just so… cute” Dean eyes flicked to green, and he pressed a bruising kiss to Nic’s lips.  She gripped him tightly, kissing back just as hard.  Dean laughed into the kiss when he felt Nic’s teeth breath the skin of his lip.  He let her suck on the wound for just a few seconds before he pulled away. She whined again.

 

“What’s wrong Sweetheart?” Dean mocked.

 

“I want more” She snapped.

 

“You’ll get more” Dean promised “But you gotta earn it.”

 

Nic smirked leaning back on her elbows licking the drying blood on her lips.  Dean laughed again at the sheer debauchery of Nic before him.  His sweet little hunter was now his blood whore.  And he couldn’t have planned it better


	3. Chapter 3

Dean huffed as he watched Nic from the doorway of the motel room.  She’d been with him for almost two weeks now; and in those two weeks this was the lowest he’d seen her.  She was refusing to drink his blood, and it had been five days. 

 

“You don’t have to suffer like this Sweetheart” Dean called.  Nic continued to shiver under her blankets.  “You can be right as rain as soon as you want.”

 

She ignored him.

 

“Leave the poor little witch be for a spell” Crowley said walking up to Dean.  All three shared the room, but with Dean, and Crowley coming, and going so often it had just become more like Nic’s prison cell.

 

“And why would I do that? She’s mine.”

 

“She needs time to adjust.  Why don’t you go take care of some of your business, I’ll have a chat with the little Princess.”

 

“Just keep your hands to yourself” Dean warned.

 

“Always” Crowley assured.

 

Dean was gone, and Crowley smirked walking into the bedroom.

 

“Nikita, kitten, how do you feel?” Crowley asked loudly.  Nic cringed, the sound of his voice causing her head to pound harder.

 

“Go away” She croaked.  Her throat felt so dry.

 

“Are you sure? I got what you’re looking for” Crowley assured.

 

“I don’t want it” Nic snapped sitting up.  Crowley took in her appearance and tried not to cringe.  She was a complete wreck; greasy dull hair, bloodshot eyes, chapped lips.  She was hooked, but she was being stubborn.

 

“Kitten, it’s alright to want it” Crowley assured.

 

“Shut up” Nic snapped whipping her head to glare at Crowley.  Both were surprised when Crowley was sent flying into the wall.

 

“Well” Crowley chuckled standing up, and dusting himself off “That was new.  Your magic has never been that strong before.”

 

Nic grabbed the waste bin by the bed, and vomited.

 

“Attractive” Crowley cringed.

 

Nic flipped him off as another wave of nausea had her dry heaving into the waste bin.

 

“That’s what the blood has done for you Nic.  It’s made you stronger, strong enough to use your magic through a simple look, not even a gesture required; but you’re sick without it.  You need it Nic.”

 

“I don’t want it” Nic croaked.

 

“Yes you do Kitten.”

 

“No” Nic groaned putting the bin back down on the floor.

 

“Yes” Crowley insisted sitting down next to Nic on the bed.  He held out his wrist to Nic.

 

“No” She snapped, glaring at him.

 

Crowley didn’t respond, instead without even batting an eye he slid the nail of this thumb across his wrist.  Nic felt her heart skip a beat, and then begin to pound at the sight of Crowley’s blood.

 

“Go ahead Kitten.  No one’s stopping you.”

 

Nic grabbed his forearm hard.  She stared for just a moment before she finally caved, latching her mouth to the open wound.

 

“There’s a girl” Crowley praised threading his fingers into Nic’s thick dark red hair.

 

* * *

 

Nic came out of the bathroom in a new tight little black dress, scoop neck, and sleeves to her wrists.  Her hair was the perfect mix of wavy, and curly, and just the right amount of messy to look sexy.

 

“Well there’s my girl!”

 

Nic whirled around, and grinned at Dean.

 

“Well hey there yourself handsome!”

 

“And what brought this on?” Dean asked grabbing Nic’s hips, and pulling her in.

 

“She had a little snack” Crowley answered walking into the living room of the pent house suite.

 

“Did she now?” Dean asked looking at Nic, that smug satisfied smirk on his face.

 

“I did, and I feel great” Nic grinned.  She grabbed Dean’s face, and pulled him into a scorching kiss.  Dean pulled back, a grin on his face.

 

“ _There’s_ my girl.”

 

“Wanna go out, and raise some hell?”

 

“You’re fuckin’ right I do.”

 

“Actually before there is any hell raising to do” Crowley interrupted “We have some business to attend, and I need to borrow Nikita.”

 

“Borrow?” Dean asked walking slowly up to Crowley.

 

“Just for a short time, I need some… muscle if you will.”

 

“I’m all the muscle you need, you don’t need to take her anywhere.”

 

“I need less intimidating muscle, but muscle that’s still scary.”

 

“I am pretty terrifying” Nic agreed.

 

“Sweetheart-”

 

“I can do it Dean.  It’s fine.”

 

Dean glared at Crowley “If anything happens to her-”

 

“You know that’s not very scary talk for a Demon, Dean.  Someone might think you actually care about me” Nic chided “After all, you did get me hooked on Demon Blood.”

 

“Sweetheart you can’t hold that against me.”

 

“I mean I can.  You kinda just… took me Dean.  Against my will” Nic glared at him.  Now she was past the point of the high that made her happy.  She was pissed.  She stared Dean down hard, and suddenly he was slammed into the wall.

 

“Ooo, kinky” Dean grinned.

 

“You better watch it before I fucking set you on fire Dean.”

 

Suddenly he was standing in front of her.  “You’re strong Nic, but I’m still stronger” And his hand was on her throat.

 

“If you were going to kill me you would’ve done it already.”

 

“I still might.”

 

“You won’t.”

 

“Can you two can it with the foreplay?” Crowley sighed. 

 

Dean let Nic go.

 

“Fuck you” She snapped.

 

“Oh we will later Sweetheart, don’t you worry about that” Dean winked.

 

“Almost ready Kitten?” Crowley asked.

 

“Yes, I’m ready” Nic sighed as she slipped on a pair of ankle boots.

 

“We’ll be back.  Don’t wait up” Crowley smirked at Dean, wrapping his arm around Nic’s waist.

 

* * *

 

The negotiations were going well Nic thought.  That was until the party was crashed.

 

By an Angel, and a Hunter.

 

“Nic!”

 

“Sam?”

 

“Nic?”

 

“Cas?”

 

“Oh bollocks.”

 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

 

Nic flung Sam, and into the wall as she stared down Cas.  All the demons scattered save for Crowley.

 

“Really? Of all the places the two of you had to show up, it was here?”

 

“We were tracking Nic.  She’s been shielded from me for two weeks now.”

 

“She was in hiding” Crowley rolled his eyes.

 

“Hiding from what?” Sam groaned standing up.  “She was possessed by Dean, you mean she’s not now?”

 

“No, I’m all me” She said, then smirked “With some upgrades.”

 

“What?” Sam asked.

 

“Oh yeah, I’m on the demon juice now.  And wow Sam, I fucking get it.  All the shit that I gave you for drinking demon blood? I take it all back.”

 

“No” Sam stared at her in shock “No, who did it? Was it Crowley?”

 

“No, Dean did it, and honestly I still need to thank him properly for it if you catch my drift.”

 

“Nic, come home with us” Sam offered his hand out to Nic “We can get you cleaned up, we can still hunt Dean, we still have a chance to cure him.”

 

“Oh for fucks sake, could you be more whiny Moose?” Crowley sighed flicking his wrist, and sending Sam into the wall on the opposite side of the room.  Nic turned, and gave Crowley the coldest look she could manage.

 

“Listen here Crowley.  You don’t lay a hand on him, are we clear?” She snapped.  Crowley raised his hands in defense.

 

“Easy Kitten.  I was just trying to make a point.”

 

Cas sighed, and stood up straight, letting his angel blade slide back into his jacket.

 

“Honestly” He shook his head “This is too much.”

 

“What the hell does that mean?” Nic glared at him.

 

Sam began reciting the exorcism.

 

“Bollocks, you’re on your own for the moment Kitten.”

 

Crowley was gone, and Nic was left facing the last two people that she wanted to see right now.

 

“That fucking dick!” She screeched flinging her hand out, sending Cas crashing into the long meeting table “You two stay away from me!”

 

“We’re taking you home” Sam grunted standing up.  She rounded on Sam, fists clenched tight at her side, fury in her eyes.

 

“I don’t want to go home!”

 

“Well too bad what you want” Cas said.  Nic turned to see him right behind her; his fingers pressed to her forehead, and she was out cold.

 

* * *

 

The last thing Nic expected to wake up in the trunk of a car as it came to a stop.  She could hear Sam, and Cas’s muffled voices as they discussed something important.  Nic didn’t care, her head was starting to hurt.  The trunk opened, and the bright light blinded her, and made her head pound.

 

“What the hell?” She groaned.

 

“You’re home.”

 

“I said I didn’t want to come home!” She glared at Sam.  He just clenched his jaw.

 

“We’re going to get you clean.  I promise.”

 

“I don’t want to be clean, I want more demon blood.  It makes me stronger Sam, strong enough to do whatever the fuck I want, when I want!”

 

“You don’t need it” Cas interrupted.

 

“I don’t care what you think I need!”

 

“Cas, can you help me get her in the dungeon before you go?”

 

“Of course Sam.”

 

“The dungeon? What the fuck are you gonna do? Leave me down there to rot, and sweat it all out like some fucking Prom Queen who can’t hold her tequila?”

 

Cas, and Sam just shared a look before they hauled Nic out of the trunk.

 

“You can’t do this! I don’t want to be here, you’re holding me against my will!”

 

“Just like Dean did?” Sam snapped.  Nic glared at him.

 

“Don’t you fucking talk about your brother like that!”

 

It was a struggle every step of the way to get Nic into the dungeon, even without using her magic she was still a force to reckoned with

 

Once she was strapped into the chair, all the chains in place Sam stared at her longingly.

 

“Why is it that something like this always happens to us?  I haven’t seen you since a week after Dean disappeared.  And now its like this?”

 

“Well then maybe I wasn’t worth the trouble Sam” She sneered.

 

“No” Sam shook his head “You’re always worth the trouble.”

 

He, and Cas walked out, and closed the door behind them.

 

Nic screamed.

 

Sam stood just outside the door listening to her. 

 

He couldn’t take much more of this.


	4. Chapter 4

He’d never seen Nic like this.  Even when she was doing the trials, and had been sick, and out of it, it was never this bad.  Her skin was pale, her lips were dry, and chapped, she looked around fifteen pounds skinnier than she should’ve been.  Nic had been in the dungeon for three days now, and showed no sign of getting better.

 

“It’s not working, not like it worked for me” Sam whispered to Cas.

 

“No, at this rate…”

 

“Don’t” Sam sighed.  “Don’t say it.”

 

“She might die without it Sam.”

 

“Cutting her cold turkey was a bad idea, but we’re too far in to let her have any now.  If we do, we’re just going to make it worse.”

 

Cas shuffled uneasily.  “I don’t want to let her die.”

 

“She won’t.”

 

“You don’t know that” Cas insisted.

 

“I don’t, but I do know how strong Nic is.  She can make it through this.”

 

“One more day” Cas said.  “If she doesn’t improve within one more day, I will get her what she needs.  I can’t watch her die.”

 

“One more day” Sam agreed.  He walked into the dungeon as Cas walked away.  “Nic?”

 

She looked up at him, eyes barely open, and blood shot dry.

 

“What?” She asked, voice rough, and throat dry.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

She laughed. “I feel like I’m fucking dying.  This is all my fault.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“If I’d been smarter, if I’d just called you… He never would’ve possessed me.  Moira would still be alive, training the next generation of witches, and I never would’ve gotten hooked on demon blood, and we would have Dean here right now, instead of me, and we’d have him cured, and we’d all be together again.”

 

“Moira?” Sam asked. 

 

“She’s the one who taught me how to be a witch, she helped me become who I am.”

 

“Well if she were still here, I guess I’d have a lot to thank her for.”

 

Nic smiled, “Yeah.  She’d have loved to meet you.”

 

“Tell me about her.”

 

“I met her when I was fifteen…”

 

* * *

 

She was mean when she was going through withdrawal.

 

“What’s the matter Sam? Can’t take a little verbal assault? You were all about actually assaulting me when you took me away.”

 

Sam sighed as he sat down the glass of water he’d brought for her.

 

“Nic.”

 

“Don’t you Nic me Samuel Winchester.  I told you that I didn’t want to go home.  You should’ve just left me where I was cause at least there I was some kind of happy.”

 

“You call being high happy?”

 

“Yes.  Because I didn’t have to look at you, I didn’t have to be reminded of how you fucked up, how you failed this family.”

 

Sam clenched his jaw.

 

“You’re right.  I did.  Do you know what the last thing Dean said to me? Before he died?”

 

“Do I even care?”

 

“He said that he was proud of us.  If everything we’ve accomplished up to this point.  You know what else he said?”

 

“You’re gonna tell me anyway I bet.”

 

“He said ‘Let our girl know that I’ll always love her, and that she can’t take this too hard’.”

 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

 

“You always take everything so personally Nic-”

 

“How else was I supposed to take the death of the love of my life?!”

 

“You still had me! I was still here, and I was grieving too! Didn’t you stop to think that maybe I needed you?”

 

Nic glared at Sam.  “Sam, I don’t give a fuck what you needed.  Do you know what I needed?”

 

“What?”

 

“I needed you to be dead, and for Dean to be alive.  I needed you to trade places.”

 

Sam just closed his eyes, and sucked on his lower lip.  He should’ve expected that sort of answer.

 

“You don’t mean that.  You’re just… angry, and upset, and going through withdrawal.”

 

“Stop making excuses!” Nic yelled.  Sam looked at her startled by the volume of her voice “All you do Sam, is make fucking excuses for everyones shitty behavior, your own included, and you just let it be, and ignore all the fucked up shit, and lock all your feelings away until you finally get to use them as some fucking excuse to make others feel bad!”

 

“Nic-”

 

“That’s fucking emotional manipulation 101.  Dean told me you accused him of it, but you do the same fucking thing Sam!  We’re all fucking guilty of this emotional fuckery, but you know what, at least I’m up front about it.”

 

Sam took a deep breath, and walked away.

 

“Go ahead Sam!” She called after him “Walk away, it’s what you’re good at!”

 

* * *

 

Sam was in the kitchen trying to find something light to make for Nic.  She hadn’t eaten since she’d been locked up in the dungeon.

 

“Sam.”

 

Sam felt his heart practically leap out of his chest as he dropped the pot he was gonna use to make soup for Nic.  Sam turned to look at Cas, waiting for the clattering metal sound to come to a stop.

 

“Hey Cas, what’s up, how are you? I’m great you know, just got the shit scared out of me, but I’m okay.”

 

“My apologies.”

 

“Where did you head off to?” Sam asked picking up the pot.

 

“To get demon blood.”

 

“We agreed we’d wait until tomorrow.”

 

“I have it on hand just in case.”

 

Sam sighed as he put the pot on the stove.  “I don’t want her addicted to this stuff.”

 

“I don’t either.  But Crowley, and Dean gave her too much too fast, and trying to get it all out of her system now is slowly killing her.”

 

“I know Cas.  Logically I know that the best way to get her off this crap is to wean her, but… I can’t let her go through what I went through.”

 

“You already had demon blood inside of you Sam.  It made the transitions easier.  She’d never before had something of a supernatural nature inside her body.  She’s only human.”

 

“She’s more Witch, than human.  Maybe that’s why its messed her up so much.”

 

“Maybe” Cas sighed.  “Don’t you think that maybe it’s time to let Nic out of the dungeon?”

 

“And risk her finding what you have? I don’t think so.”

 

“But she’s just-”

 

They both heard the loud crash come from the down the hall.  They both looked at each other in panic before racing for the dungeon.  They found Nic in the seat, knocked over, and convulsing.

 

“Shit!” Sam cried running over to Nic’s side.  “Cas help!”

 

Cas released Nic from her restraints, and tried to hold her down to help her through the seizure.

 

“Sam, she can’t keep going like this!”

 

“Damnit Cas I know that, but we’re not giving it to her!”

 

It took a few more minutes before Nic’s body finally stopped the convulsions. Sam sat back on his heels, and pushed his hair back off his forehead.

 

“Sam?”

 

“Don’t say it Cas.”

 

“I’ll take her to her room.”

 

“Mine.”

 

“What?”

 

“Put her in my room please.”

 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

 

“Cas, I know how to take care of Nic.”

 

Cas frowned, but did as Sam requested.

 

* * *

 

She opened her eyes, and shut them tight immediately the bright lights causing an intense pain right behind her eyes.

 

“Nic?”

 

“No.”

 

“No?” Sam chuckled.

 

“No Nic.  Nic is gone, she’s dead, she’s not here anymore.”

 

“Well that’s too bad cause she’s gonna end up missing out on her favorite soup, and toast made just the way she likes, and some orange juice too.”

 

Nic just groaned.  “I couldn’t eat even if I wanted to.”

 

“Look at me” Sam instructed gently, taking Nic’s face in his hands.  She slowly opened her eyes, and smiled at her hunter.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

“Like a steaming pile of shit.”

 

“But not like you’re dying?”

 

“No.  Just sick now.  How long was I out? I remember being in the dungeon, and… then here.”

 

“Three days.”

 

“Three days?”

 

“Cas thought… he was scared.  Like I haven’t seen him scared in a while.  This whole Dean thing has him worried about losing the rest of us.”

 

“He’s family” Nic nodded solemly.

 

“He thought that you might need… need another hit.”

 

Nic sat up straight, pulling out of Sam’s grasp.

 

“You didn’t… you didn’t give me one did you?”

 

“Nic…”

 

“Did you give me demon blood?”

 

“You wouldn’t wake up.  For anything.”

 

Nic shot her hand out, and Sam went flying into the wall.  Nic clenched her open palm into a fist, and held Sam pinned against the wall.

 

“Well at least you did something right for once” Nic narrowed her eyes “But you better get one thing straight Sam.  You’re not fuckin’ taking me off this shit again are we clear?”

 

“Nic, this isn’t what you want.  You’re better than this.”

 

Nic just clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

 

“No Sam.  I’m really not.”

 

“Cas!” Sam called.

 

“Oh what the fuck is he gonna do?” Nic laughed.

 

“Stop you” Cas said.  Nic turned around just in time to see him reach out to press his fingers to her forehead again.  She flung him with the other hand, her concentration on Cas making her lower her hold on Sam.

 

“You fucking feathery dick!”

 

“Nic please, you don’t need to do this” Cas pleaded.

 

“You wanted me off the demon blood, then you shouldn’t have given me anymore!”

 

“You were dying!”

 

“Then you should’ve just let me fucking die!”

 

Suddenly Sam arms were around her, and she couldn’t get out of his hold.  She screamed, and struggled, and tried to break free but Sam held tight.

 

“Why didn’t you just let me fucking die?!”

 

Her body sagged in Sam’s hold as she started crying, and Cas was let out of her magical hold.

 

“Nic, it’s okay” Sam whispered soothingly.

 

“I should be dead right now, the gates of hell should be closed, and you, and Dean should be sitting back waiting for your next hunt to roll around, and drinking beer, and I should be cold in the fucking ground, and there should be no more demons!” She wailed, her words barely coherent through her tears.

 

“Dean would still be alive, and he wouldn’t be a demon, and it’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him talk me out of finishing the trials.”

 

Sam sat her down on his bed, and pulled her more comfortable into his hold.

 

“It’s okay Nic.  We never knew any of this would’ve happened.  It’s not your fault.”

 

“If I’d never started anything with Dean, he would’ve let me finish the trials.  Instead I got to close to him, and he let that get in the way of what was right.”

 

Sam chuckled.  “That’s just how we Winchesters are Nic.  You should know that by now, you are one remember?”

 

“I know” She whispered.  She looked over at Cas standing awkwardly over on the other side of the room.  “Cas?”

 

“Yes Nic?”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s alright.  What’re friends for after all?”

 

“Family Cas.  We’re family.”

 

He smiled, and nodded “Family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you guys are feeling about this so far, how you feel Nic's being handled. The next couple chapters are gonna be handling the demon dean situation next, and then moving on through a minorly altered season 10


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cure

“He’s giving us Dean?” Nic asked confused. They were standing by Sam’s truck in the motel parking lot.  He had just gotten off the phone with Crowley.

 

“Said Dean’s too unruly, and that he’s our problem now.”

 

Nic clenched her fist.  “Is this a good idea?”

 

“This could be our only chance to get him.”

 

“Then I need to be juiced up.”

 

“No.  No, we’ve almost got you off this stuff Nic, you don’t need it anymore.”

 

“But it makes my magic stronger Sam.  It could give us the edge we need.”

 

“You don’t need it.”

 

Nic bit her bottom lip hard.  She didn’t want to say it.  She _wanted_ it.

 

“You’re right.” She agreed with a tight smile “You’re right, I don’t need it.”

 

“Then just… get ready.  You need to be able to handle Dean.”

 

“I’ll be able to handle Dean.”

 

“Nic…”

 

“I can handle Dean.”

 

* * *

 

“Nic, Nic, Nic” Dean shook his head, that menacing grin on his face as he stared at Sam, and Nic across the bar.  “Wasn’t expecting you to be here Sweetheart.”

 

Nic shrugged “I want to help.”

 

“Oh you’re helpin’ alright” Dean licked his lips, eyeing Nic up, and down.  “Why don’t you, and I ditch Sam, and find us some place private? I’ve missed my best girl.  No one rides my cock quite like you do Sweetheart… something in those hips a yours.”

 

“Look Dean, say whatever you want, it doesn’t change anything” Nic shook her head.

 

“It doesn’t change anything? What about the demon blood? Doesn’t that change anything?”

 

“I’m off it now. I don’t need it, and I never needed it.”

 

“But you’re scared.  How are you gonna be strong enough to fight me without it?”

 

“I don’t need to be” Nic shook her head.

 

“And why is that?” Dean sneered.

 

“Because you’re my brother, and I’m here to take you home” Sam said.

 

“Me? Home? I thought you two would be livin’ it up all domestic like now that I was gone.  I’m surprised there ain’t a little bouncin’ baby Winchester on the way.”

 

“Dean what I want more than anything is to have you back” Nic said holding her hand out to him “More than anything.”

 

“That’s nice Sweetheart” Dean chuckled “Really that is.  But here’s the thing… I possessed you.  I know what goes on in that messed up little noggin’ of yours.  You don’t want me back for any reason other than to get me, and Sammy to fuck you again.  You’re a little whore Nic, but you were always my little whore.”

 

Dean crossed the space between him, and Nic quicker than either hunter could react to.  Dean grabbed Nic by the throat, and squeezed just enough to let her know just who the fuck was in charge.

 

“Now how about you, and me get outta here, and I remind just who the fuck you really belong to.”

 

Nic had a witty remark right on the tip of her tongue until the room filled with tear gas.  Dean pushed Nic aside, and headed outside with an annoyed look on his face; Sam scrambled to her side helping her up, and out of the bar trying not to choke on the air.

 

* * *

 

“Who the fuck was that guy?” Nic asked hours later, trying to ignore the demon in the backseat acting like a fucking three year old.

 

“Name’s Cole” Sam sighed “Wants to kill Dean, cause Dean killed his dad.”

 

“They should make a show out of that” Dean quipped “Quality fuckin’ television if you ask me.”

 

“He’s not wrong, I’d watch that show” Nic nodded.

 

“Right? Imagine it one a those really good lookin’ dudes on CW or whatever plays the son getting his revenge, someone like fuckin’… Sean Bean plays the villain” Dean said.

 

“And Sean Bean dies, cause Sean Bean always dies” Nic nodded along.

 

“Stop encouraging him” Sam shook his head, eyes on the road.

 

“But” Dean said, sounding excited about this fake TV show “Sean Bean was one of the good guys all along, and theres layers, and layers of conspiracy cause the son never really knew who his dad actually was.”

 

“I would watch the shit out of that” Nic agreed.

 

“Imagine it Sweetheart, you, and me.  Executive producers, and head writers.”

 

Nic paused, and looked at Dean over her shoulder “Are you trying to fuckin’ make a deal with me?”

 

“Look, I’m just sayin’-”

 

“Oh my God, you’re restrained in the backseat, and you’re actually trying to make a fucking deal with me, I can’t believe you.”

 

“Can’t blame sentient black smoke for tryin’” Dean shrugged, amused smirk on his face.

 

“Can’t fuckin’ wait to stick you in the dungeon, and just fuckin’ let you rot.”

 

“Nic!” Sam hissed.

 

“Wow Sweetheart, that’s kinky even for you.”

 

“What Sam? Even as a human he wasn’t this much of an asshole!”

 

“That’s cause I’m a fuckin’ demon, what the hell else did you expect?”

 

“What he said!” Sam sputtered.

 

“Now you’re fucking taking his side?”

 

“Whoa-” Sam yelled.

 

“He’s my baby brother Sweetheart, what’d you expect?”

 

“Shut the fuck up Dean!”

 

“Nic!”

 

“Sam!”

 

“Everyone shut the fuck up!” Dean snapped.  Sam, and Nic both took in a deep breath, and looked out the windshield.

 

“Now, take a deep breath” Dean instructed calmly, both did as he said “Exhale… and let me the fuck go.”

 

“No!” Both snapped at the same time.

 

“Right well…” Dean shrugged “One way or another I am gonna get free, and when I do? I’m gonna rip out your throat Sammy… with my teeth, while Nic watches.”

 

“Now who’s being kinky” Nic snarked.  Dean looked at Nic, and narrowed his eyes leaning in close.

 

“What? You got somethin’ you wanna say Sweetheart?”

 

“I want you back Dean, I do” Nic said, and turned to look at him in her seat.

 

“But?” Dean asked.

 

“But right now you’re still a demon.  You’re a demon, and I’m a hunter, and I’m not your brother, and if I have to, I will do what I was trained to do.”

 

“Are you threatening me?” Dean’s eyes turned black, but Nic held her ground even as she felt her heart skip a beat.

 

“It’s not a threat if it’s a promise.”

 

Dean sat back in his seat, and stared at Nic, a grin on his face.  “Did you hear that Sammy? Our girl says she’s gonna kill me cause you’re too soft!”

 

“Nic’s not gonna kill you” Sam said.

 

“You sure about that? Cause she looks like she just might.”

 

“She won’t cause you’ll be cured before it comes to that” Sam nodded.

 

“Are you so sure though?” Dean asked.

 

“Shut up” Nic sighed, turning back around, placing a comforting hand on Sam’s thigh.  He huffed, but took his hand from the wheel, and placed it on hers threading their fingers together.

 

* * *

 

“Just keep an eye on him.  He seemed really out of it earlier” Sam said looking over at Dean chained to the chair in the center of the dungeon.  Nic nodded.  Sam gave her a chaste kiss on the lips as he left the room.

 

“Aren’t you two just the cutest?”

 

Nic looked at Dean, and folded her arms over her chest.

 

“Dean, I’m not in the mood for the mind fuckery.  I heard what you said to Sam, and I don’t wanna deal with this shit alright?”

 

“That’s too bad Sweetheart, cause I’m bored as shit, and all I wanna do is talk.”

 

“Well it’s not like I can stop you” Nic conceded as she sat down in the only other chair in the room.

 

“Sorry about the whole… addiction thing.”

 

“No you’re not” Nic glared at him

 

“You’re right.  I’m not; the blood made you hotter Nic.  Like… fuck, you were just all this wild energy, and you were just so sexy, and strong, and wow.”

 

“Why did you do it in the first place? Why did you think it was a good idea to give me the demon blood?”

 

“Honestly?” Dean asked.  Nic nodded.  “I was bored.  And I missed you, and I figured best way to make you stay with me was to give you a reason to stay.”

 

“So you got me hopped up on Supernatural Cocaine?”

 

Dean chuckled “Yeah more or less.  It was fun though Sweetheart, wasn’t it?”

 

“You made me kill Moira.”

 

“She was a bitch.  And she was in the way.”

 

“She was like a mother to me.”

 

“Well we all know a thing or two about dead parents don’t we?”

 

“I fucking hate you.”

 

“You say that like every five minutes, I know you don’t actually mean it Nic.”

 

She just shook her head.

 

“Nic” Dean said “I just want you to know before anything else happens… I’m gonna make you mine again.  You were always just mine Sweetheart, and you know it.”

 

“You don’t own me Dean.  You never did.”

 

“Didn’t I though?”

 

“I don’t have to put up with this, if Sam asks I went to the bathroom.”

 

Nic walked away, Dean’s menacing laugh following her.

 

“You can’t escape me Sweetheart, you never will.”

 

* * *

 

It went to shit in less than twenty-four hours.  From getting Dean locked into the dungeon, to getting the purified blood, to starting the treatment, it all went to shit.  Nic had been just getting out of the shower when the emergency lights came on.

 

“You have got to be kidding me!” She hissed pulling on her bathrobe, and running for Dean’s room. 

 

“Sweetheart? You there?”

 

She stopped dead just as she was about to open Dean’s door.  Dean was on the loose, and he was close.

 

“Nic?”

 

She breathed a sigh of relief.  He’d gone down the other hallway.  She closed the door gently behind her, and rushed over to the closet pulling on her clothes as quickly as she could. Shorts, and Dean’s old AC/DC t-shirt worn soft from wear, and wash.  She grabbed her Colt Magnum off the dresser, and stuck it down the back of her shorts.  She opened the closet hoping there was some kind of blunt object.  She smirked pulling out a baseball bat.  She didn’t even remember why they had it, or why they had it in her, and Dean’s room. But it was perfect. 

 

She opened the door to the hallway, bat out in front of her.  She checked the hallway before heading down towards the kitchen.  She needed to find Sam first before anything.

 

“Where are you two? C’mon hide ‘n’ seek is starting to get a little fuckin’ old!”

 

Nic stopped, and pressed herself against the wall.  Dean was around the corner, his voice was so close he had to be around the corner.  Her grip tightened on the bat.

 

“Nic?  Sweetheart is that you?” 

 

She could see his shadow at the mouth of the hallway.

 

“Oh Nic, I can’t decide what I want to do with you anymore.  On the one hand, I could kill you.  Brutally.  And that would be great.  Or I could give you my blood again, and we could go on our own brutal murder spree.  Also great.”

 

Then he turned the corner, and he smirked at her, all menace, and teeth.

 

“Hey Sweetheart.”

 

The bat connected with the side of his face, and Dean crumpled to the ground with a yell as Nic ran down the other hallway taking turns, and running herself deeper into the bunker than she’d ever been.

 

“ _I’m coming for you Sweetheart. You made up my mind! And Sammy is gonna watch!_ ”

 

Nic finally came to a stop pressing her back against the wall, and slid down to the floor.

 

“Nic!”

 

She looked down the hallway in time to see Sam come running down to her.

 

“Oh God Sam” She reached up, and wrapped her arms around him.  “You’re okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, you?”

 

“Yeah, I’m good.  Ran into Dean.  Bashed him in the face” She chuckled wiggling the bat.

 

Sam huffed a laugh.

 

“Thank God you got away.”

 

“You’re telling me” She agreed.

 

“Hey love birds.”

 

Both turned to see Dean standing at the end of the hallway.

 

“Run” Sam said grabbing Nic’s shoulder hard, “run!”

 

Nic followed Sam down the hallway gripping his hand hard.

 

“You two won’t get away for long!” Dean called.  And Nic knew he was right.

 

“Sam wait, we can’t keep running, we have to fight him.”

 

They stopped in the kitchen, and Sam looked at her like she was crazy.

 

“You’re fucking crazy Nic.  We can’t fight him.”

 

“Yes we can.  He’s a demon, we know how to fight demons.”

 

“He’s a Knight of Hell, he’s stronger than Abaddon, we don’t know how to fight that!”

 

“Maybe cutting me back on demon blood was a bad idea Sam.  I could fight him with it, and I can still fight him with it.”

 

“Nic, no.”

 

She ran her hand through her hair, and groaned.  “I have a plan.”

 

“What plan?”

 

“You just have to trust me.”

 

“Nic you gotta tell me.”

 

She pulled her gun from her shorts.  “Devils trap bullets.”

 

“You’re not shooting Dean.”

 

“I’m just gonna wing him in the shoulder, he’ll be fine.  For fucks sake I shot his fuckin’ toe off.  This’ll be nothing.”

 

“Nic this isn’t a good idea” Sam pleaded.

 

“It’s the only plan we got.”

 

“Cas is on the way I swear, we just have to wait for Cas.”

 

“He’s too weak.  He’s no good in this fight.”

 

“Nic-”

 

“This is all we got now.”

 

Sam sighed, rubbing his hand down his face, and nodding.  Suddenly the lights were back on.

 

“He found the generator.”

 

“It’s now or never” Nic pleaded.

 

“Let’s do this.”

 

“ _Where are you guys? C’mon this isn’t any fun if I can’t torment you_.”

 

“Be safe” Sam said following her out of the kitchen.

 

“You to.”

 

They went separate ways, the plan being to pincer around the control room.  Not even halfway there, and she turned the corner at the same time as Dean.

 

“There you are Sweetheart… with your little slugger.”

 

Nic looked at the bat still in her hands.

 

“I’m a little disappointed” She admitted “The bruise isn’t even there.”

 

“You almost Glenn’d me Sweetheart.  I’m more than a little pissed.”

 

“Yeah well what can I say? I’m kind of a bitch.  And I’m a witch.  What’d you expect?”

 

Dean smirked.  “So we dancin’ here or what Sweetheart? You know I love me a good fight.”

 

Nic threw the bat down. “Come at me then.”

 

“Oh Sweetheart, you don’t know how long I’ve been lookin’ forward to this.”

 

Dean, and Nic walked down the hall to each other.  Dean swung wide, and Nic ducked just below landing a hard jab into his ribs.  Dean grunted but didn’t back off landing a hard hit to the side of Nic’s head.  She reeled back, stumbling into the wall.  She glared at Dean, and landed a solid hit right in his face.  Dean just grinned at Nic, and gave her a hard shove back into the wall.

 

“It’s cute Sweetheart… you think your fat, weak ass can take me?  Me?”

 

Nic growled, and threw her hand out sending Dean flying into the wall with enough magical force to crack his head against the wall hard enough to make him see spots.

 

“It’s cute Dean” Nic panted hand feeling at the goose egg on the side of her face. “You think your punk demon ass can take me? Me?”

 

Dean was slowly working his way out of her hold, able to move one arm, it would only be a matter of time before he broke free of the magic holding him completely.

 

“You talk a big game Sweetheart, but we both know you were only strong enough when you were on your supernatural steroids.” Dean’s other arm was free now.

 

“I don’t need to fight you, I just gotta keep you busy long enough.”

 

“For what?” Dean glared at her, eyes flicking black.

 

“For me.”

 

Dean turned his head to see Castiel, and Sam coming down the hallway.  Nic released her hold, surprising Dean enough that he fell to the floor.  Nic rushed over to her, and landed one final punch right to his jaw.  Castiel rushed over, and grabbed Dean in his hold.  Dean struggled, letting out a noise that wasn’t human.  Nic wouldn’t know what to call it but it made her skin crawl.

 

“Was the punch necessary?” Sam whispered.

 

“No.  But it felt good, and at least I didn't shoot him”

 

Sam rolled his eyes, and then settled them warily on Dean slumped in Castiel’s hold.  All the fight was gone from him.

 

“Let’s finish this” Cas nodded.

 

* * *

 

The final injection, and everyone was standing there, waiting to see what would happen.  When Dean looked up at them, they could see the black slowly leave his eyes.  He blinked a few times, and looked over at Sam, and Cas.

 

“Hey fellas.  You look worried.”

 

Sam let out a sigh of relief, the biggest smile Nic had seen in weeks on his face.

 

“Welcome back Dean.”

 

He looked over to Nic, and Dean’s face fell.

 

“Hey there Sweetheart.”

 

She turned, and walked away without a word.

 

She didn’t leave Sam’s room for the rest of the night, and Dean didn’t come for her.

 

She lay in bed with Sam that night, his body spooned around her, arm around her waist, and chin resting on top of her head.  It would be better this way; she didn’t need Dean, and he didn’t need her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **REWRITE AS OF FEB 26th from Chapter 6 on (which isn't really a lot)
> 
> Sometimes you need to put yourself first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't pleased with some of the chapters I've posted to this work since I finished tight squeeze, and I still may edit some of the earlier chapters but this particular chapter had be the most upset with how I did it. From here on out things between Nic, and the boys are going to get really rough, and there may not really be a happy ending but it's Supernatural. There was never meant to be a happy ending.

Sam, and Dean had left Nic behind for three weeks.  Three weeks with no phone calls, no texts, no emails, nothing.  Not until she heard the bunker door open, and heard them laughing as they walked down the stairs.

 

“Oh well look who finally came home” Nic stood up, arms folded across her chest.  Both the brothers stopped, and looked at her at least having the decency to look ashamed of themselves.

 

“Just pack up in the middle of the night, no texts, no calls, no emails, nothing.  I had no clue _where_ the two of you were.  I didn’t know when you’d come back _if_ you’d come back.”

 

“Nic-” Sam held his hand out in a placating gesture as he walked towards Nic.

 

“No!” Nic flung her hand out, and Sam stopped right where he was unable to move any further.

 

“Hey, hey, we talked about this, no magic, and no guns in your hands when you’re pissed at us” Dean said coming up beside Sam.

 

“Oh please, it’s not like I’m shooting Sam’s toe off.  All I did was freeze him in place.”

 

“Which is kinda uncomfortable for the record.” Sam called.  Nic rolled her eyes, and dropped her hand.  Sam fell forward on to his face.

 

“Fuck you both” She sighed.

 

“Look Sweetheart, I get why you were worried-”

 

“No Dean you don’t fucking get it okay?  You two can’t just keep doing this to me!” She snapped.  Sam stood up, and walked the rest of the way over to Nic.

 

“I’m sorry.  It was just easier this way, after everything that happened I thought… I thought it’d be better if you, and Dean were separated.”

 

“You know what Sam, that would almost make fucking sense to me if you had fucking told me where you were going, or why you were leaving, or how fucking long you’d have been gone!  I didn’t even get so much as a ‘we’re alive’ text from you!”

 

“It’s my fault” Dean stepped up.  “Don’t be mad at Sam, be mad at me I’m the one who said we should take off for a while, I’m the one who told Sam not to tell you.  It’s all my fault.”

 

Nic stared at Dean for a moment mouth pressed into an angry thin line, and then looked back at Sam’s pleading eyes.

 

“Whatever” She scoffed, and turned away, leaving the room.

 

“You didn’t have to lie like that Dean.  It really was my fault.”

 

“It’s better this way for us.  It’s better for her to be mad at me… she needs to be mad at me.”

 

“Dean-”

 

“Sam, just stop okay?  There’s no saving what’s between me, and her I don’t think.  Not after all the shit I did.”

 

“You were a demon.”

 

“Not for all of it.”

 

* * *

 

An hour later there was a knock on Nic’s bedroom door.  She hadn’t slept in it in months but right now going to either brother’s room was out of the question.  Even though all her things were spread between both rooms.

 

“Whichever one of you it is, please go away” Nic called.

 

“Not a chance Sweetheart” Dean replied opening the door.

 

“Dean no offense but… I don’t think I really want to talk to you right now.  I know you’re better now, and everything but… after everything it’s still gonna take me some time to look at you, and not see that demon.”

 

Dean looked down at his feet, nodding, hands in his pockets.

 

“I… I understand Nic.  I do.”

 

“I don’t want you to think that I don’t want you anymore Dean.  I love you, so much, it’s just… hard for me right now.”

 

“You don’t have to explain to me.”

 

“I kind of do.  You deserve that much.  I know that what you did, you did as a demon, but it’s still fucked me up really bad.  I… I still wake up in cold sweat, and I have these migraines that are just so fucking painful, and I get these fucking… _cravings_.  And it’s all because of the demon blood, and fuck Dean, I’ve been trying but I just want it so bad all the time.”

 

“I’m sorry I did that to you.”

 

“I know you are.  I just need time Dean, because… even though I love you so much… I don’t know if we can keep what we had going.”

 

Dean sucked on the inside of this cheek, and nodded.

 

“Well…” He said rapping his knuckles against the door “I found a hunt… for the three of us… or just you, and Sam if you want.”

 

Nic nodded, and watched Dean leave.  She plopped down on her bed with a heavy sigh, and wrapped her arms around her body.  She sat there for a few moments before she got up, and started packing her bag.

 

* * *

 

“So you’re comin’ with us then?” Dean asked as Nic finally walked into the garage.

 

“Yeah” She responded.

 

“Alright well hop on in back” Dean smiled gently at her.

 

“I’m gonna… gonna take my car actually.  Kinda just wanna drive myself you know?”

 

“You want me to ride with you?” Sam asked.

 

“No.  You two can ride in the Impala, and I’ll be right behind you” Nic responded throwing her bag into the backseat of her Corvette.

 

That should’ve been warning signing number one.

 

* * *

 

Warning sign number two was a little more obvious.

 

“Which bed do you wanna sleep in?” Sam asked Nic as they entered the motel room.  She shifted uncomfortably, adjusting the strap of her duffle.

 

“Nic?”

 

“I got my own room this time” She responded.  She pointed at the adjoining door inside of the room.  “Right next door I just… kinda wanna be in my own room.”

 

“Sweetheart, you don’t gotta do that… if anything I coulda gotten a separate room not you” Dean said.  Nic shrugged.

 

“I dunno, I just wanted my own room I guess.”

 

“If you’re sure” Sam walked up to Nic, and gave her a gentle kiss.  “See you in the morning.”

 

“Night” She smiled, and looked at Dean “Night, Dean.”

 

“Night Sweetheart.”

 

* * *

 

Warning sign number three was even more obvious.

 

“You’re up early” Sam chuckled as he, and Dean walked out of the motel room in their FBI suits.  Nic was just getting out of her corvette dressed up in a gray pant suit.

 

“Yeah, I got a head start.”

 

“Head start?” Dean asked.  She walked over to the Impala, and handed Dean a case file.

 

“Been to the morgue, the Sheriff’s office, and town hall.”

 

“You did all of that before we even woke up?” Sam asked shocked.

 

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep.  Was uh… up all night thinkin’ about the case, and shit.”  Nic opened the case file, and pointed at the photo “Look though.”

 

Dean squinted, and Sam came around the other side of the car to look over their shoulders.

 

“Coroner couldn’t explain it, and made some joke about ghosts but…” Nic smirked.

 

“That’s ectoplasm” Dean said.

 

“Specter ectoplasm.  That’s why it’s so green.”

 

“So then… were there any major betrayals in town?” Sam asked.

 

“Well our little rural haven has two major families” Nic answered “The Bakers, and the Millers.  Both are farming families, and have had major land, and cattle disputes in the past.  The possessions, and deaths didn’t start popping up until the city broke ground on donated land from both families for a new local park.  They ran into some graves from the civil war which is as about as long as the feud between the families has gone on for.”

 

“Alright well simple enough, we burn all the bones they dug up” Dean nodded.

 

“Easier said than done” Nic sighed closing the file “They’re in town hall on display.”

 

“What kind of stupid ass town displays bones?” Dean groaned.

 

“One that’s proud of its heritage, and founding.”

 

“Stupid” Dean huffed.  Sam took the case file from Nic, and started looking over it.

 

“Great work Nic, I mean it” He smiled.  She frowned.

 

“What? Like you expected me to not be good at what I do?  It’s just work Sam.”

 

Nic shook her head, and stalked off to her room.

 

“She’s pissed” Dean said.

 

“She didn’t get any sleep, that’s all it is” Sam shrugged.

 

“Sure it is” Dean rolled his eyes at his brothers obliviousness.

 

* * *

 

“Nic don’t!” Sam yelled running into the main hall of the Bakers home.  Nic was on the ground wrestling Mrs. Baker.

 

“She’s got the possessed coin!” Nic grunted clawing at Mrs. Bakers closed fist “She’s trying to kill her husband get him out of here!”

 

Sam, and Dean watched only a moment longer before they were running through the house trying to find the husband. 

 

“He cheated on me, he deserves to be hurt too!” Mrs. Baker screamed “I had surgery, I changed my hair, I bought new clothes, I did everything for him!  And he still cheated on me!”

 

“That’s because he’s a horrible person!” Nic snapped resorting to slapping at Mrs. Bakers wrist now.

 

“We got him Nic!” She heard Dean shouted.

 

“Get him somewhere safe!  I can’t keep her down much longer!”

 

She heard the door slam, and the Impala speed off only moments later.  Suddenly Nic was thrown clear across the room, and when she looked up Mrs. Baker was headed for the garage.

 

“Shit!” Nic snapped getting back on her feet.  She tackled Mrs. Baker into the open garage; Nic got up first, and groaned.  Mrs. Baker still had the coin in a death grip.  “You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me.  I’m serious bitch, either let it go, or I’m fuckin’ cuttin’ your hand off!”

 

Mrs.  Baker stood up, and looked at Nic.  “Try me.”

 

Nic made the first move punching Mrs. Baker right in the face.

 

She didn’t flinch.

 

“That it?” She asked.

 

“Fuck me” Nic sighed right before Mrs. Baker landed a gut punch that sent Nic sprawling to the floor.  Before she could even move, or get her breath back there was a weight on Nic’s back, and a fist wrapping in her hair.

 

“First I’m gonna kill you for getting in my way” Mrs. Baker smashed Nic’s face right into the concrete; Nic swore she could feel her brain touch her skull from the sheer force of it.

 

“Then I’m gonna kill your two stupid fucking lumberjack boyfriends!”

 

Another face full of concrete.

 

“Then I’m gonna kill my stupid, cheating, worthless husband!”

 

One more smash into the concrete, and Nic could feel blood running down from her nose, and she knew it had to be broken.  Mrs. Baker got off of Nic’s back, and lifted her off the floor throwing her at the tool rack.  Nic looked up, trying to find anything, and then she saw it, and started moving towards it.

 

“That’s cute.  You still have some fight left in you.”

 

Nic lifted the fire extinguisher, and caught Mrs. Baker right in the side of the head sending the woman straight to the ground.

 

“Finally” Nic sighed, and sat down on the ground.  She heard her phone ring, and sighed, pulling it from her back pocket.  It was Dean.

 

“This isn’t over!”

 

Nic looked over in time for Mrs. Baker to place the cursed coin into her hand, and then fall back to the ground unconscious.  Nic stared at the coin for a moment, knowing what this meant.  She answered the phone.

 

“Yeah Dean hey” She sniffled.

 

“ _Thank fucking God Sweetheart, you’re okay!_ ”

 

“Yeah, I’m okay, got a broken nose though.”

 

“ _Nic?_ ” Sam’s voice came across the line “ _Nic you didn’t touch the coin right?_ ”

 

“No” She lied easily enough “It’s sitting on the ground, and I’m about to blow torch it.”

 

“ _Thank God.  Finish that up, and then come back to the motel, we’ll take a look at your nose_.” Dean said

 

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll be there soon.”

 

* * *

 

She walked into the motel room, and both brothers stood up to check her out.

 

“Jesus Christ Sweetheart, you look like a slasher movie” Dean chuckled, and walked over to her, grabbing her face gently in both his hands.

 

“That looks pretty bad, we’re gonna have to take you to the hospital for this one” Sam said wincing at the sight of her nose.

 

“Did you get hit in the head too?” Dean asked, a confused look on his face.  Nic remained silent “What the hell is in your ear?”

 

Dean reached over, and when he pulled his hand back there was a mossy green substance on his finger.  By the time Sam, and Dean put two, and two together Dean was on the floor cradling his own nose while Nic stared down Sam.

 

“Nic please, you’re possessed right no-”

 

“I know!” Nic screeched “I fucking know Sam, I’m not stupid! I’m a hunter too, and I know how to do my fucking job!”

 

“What is this about?” Sam asked “Talk this out with me okay? Why do you feel betrayed by me, and Dean?”

 

She stared at him like he was the most stupid person alive.

 

“Sam, are you that fuckin’ stupid?” Dean asked sitting up, he pulled his hands away from his face, and a rush of blood from his nose followed.  Nic had broken it.

 

“You left me behind.”

 

“That’s it?” Sam asked

 

“More than once you fucking idiot! You abandoned me, you hurt me, you made me feel like I couldn’t be trusted, like you didn’t need me anymore, like I was nothing to you!  Do you know how much that fucking hurt?!”

 

“Sweetheart-”

 

“Don’t you Sweetheart me! I can barely stand to fucking look at you let alone be in the same goddamn room as you!  You tortured me, kidnapped me, and got me hooked on fucking demon blood!”

 

“I was a demon!”

 

“You always have been!  Ever since you got that fucking mark, ever since you decided that it was you that needed to carry the fucking weight of the world on your shoulders!  You didn’t need to do that Dean!  The whole fucking world isn’t your goddamn problem to solve!  We’re good people, and we deserve to rest, we’ve done enough!  We’ve saved this ungrateful world, and all of its ungrateful people enough!”

 

“Nic please-” Sam begged

 

“No! No more, I’m done do you understand?! I fucking gave everything up for the two of you! Everything that I ever was, that I ever had, that I ever will be it was all given up for you!”

 

Nic kicked Dean in the stomach letting him fall to the ground groaning in pain.  She stepped over him, and stood in front of Sam.

 

“Nic please, I don’t want to hurt you” Sam pleaded hands out in front of him defensively.

 

“You already have.  Time, and time again.  And I’m done; it’s my turn to hurt you.”

 

Sam was flung into the dining table, the wood splintering under his weight; Nic stepped over the mess, and gripped the hair at the back of Sam’s head.  Nic slammed his head into the wall twice dazing Sam but leaving him conscious; She walked back over to Dean and straddled his waist her hands going to his throat.  He gripped her wrists trying to pry them from his neck, but she couldn’t be budged.

 

“I am done letting you, and your brother walk all over me, I am going to kill you first, then your brother, and when you come back as a demon again Dean, I’ll be fucking ready for you!”

 

Dean couldn’t remember calling for help, and neither could Sam when it was all said done.  But then Nic’s head cleared, and both the brothers stared at her from the other side of the room, Cas standing between them the cursed coin in the center of the room burning.

 

“Is everyone alright?” Cas asked.  Nic stood up, and headed through the adjoining room slamming the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

Nic had left before them, and the brothers had left hot on her trail.  They followed her all the way back to the bunker, and when they got there it was in time to see her leaving with all her bags packed.

 

Dean felt his heart drop seeing her ready to go, knowing that she was leaving, and that it was his fault.

 

“You’re leaving?” He asked.  He knew what the answer was but he had to hear it out loud.

 

“Yes.”

 

Dean sucked his lips in then released them teeth pulling hard at a bit of dry skin.  This was his fault, it was always his fault, and he should’ve known this was a long time coming.  He’d been pushing her away for too long now. 

 

“Why?” Sam asked “Nic whatever it is we can work through it we always do!” Sam said, his desperation clear.

 

“Not this time” She shook her head.  “I… I meant it you know?  What I said when I was possessed; I meant it.  I’m done.”

 

“Nic-”

 

“I can’t keep doing this anymore.  I can’t keep letting myself get hurt all the time, I can’t… I need to leave.”

 

They stood there in silence for what felt like forever until Dean finally spoke.

 

“Then you go.”

 

“Dean no!”

 

“Sammy listen” Dean looked at his brother “This is what she wants.  We can’t control her, we can’t tell her what to do.”

 

“Thank you Dean” Nic said sincerely.

 

“You go, and do what you need to do, and when… if you’re every ready again you know where to find us, cause we’ll be waiting for you.”

 

“Nic please… you don’t have to leave you can still change your mind!” Sam begged.  Nic shook her head, and turned away to head to the garage.

 

“I just want you guys to know” She said stopping to look back at them “That just because I need to leave doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving you.  I could never stop loving either of you.”

 

They stood there watching her leave, and then they finally heard the door close shut behind her.

 

Sam winced at the finality of the sound. 

 

Dean went for the bottle.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back. Only took like four months lol, but hey I'm in a better place in my life finally, and I finally found the strength to write again. Things are looking up for Nic, and the boys, but we all know it doesn't take much for it all to go downhill again.

“There are better things you could do other than sleep all day you know”

 

Nic groaned at the sound of the voice.  She pulled the blanket over her head, and turned the other way.

 

“Honestly Nikki” The other woman sighed.  She walked over to the window right beside Nic’s bed, and flung open the curtains.

 

“Fuck off Dag” Nic groaned.

 

“Fuck yourself” Dag responded back opening the window to let fresh air in. 

 

Nic sat up with a grunt, and glared at her older half sister.

 

“What?” Dag asked, hands on hips.

 

“What’s up your ass today?”

 

“Oh nothing, just the fact that ever since you moved back on to the reservation with me, and grandpa, you’ve been nothing but a free loader!”

 

“Oh come on, I do plenty!”

 

“It’s been six months, and all you’ve done is gone off hunting whatever goes bump in the night, keeping grandpa up all night worried about you!  I’m sick of you making him wait up for you to come home covered in blood, and injured again!”

 

“I didn’t tell him to wait up for me, he doesn’t have to do that, I’m a big girl, and I take care of myself just fine Dagmar!”

 

Dagmar sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose.  “I know Nikita.  I know.  But you’ve always been grandpa’s favorite, and you know that.  Why do you think he wouldn’t let you stay in that shady motel in town?”

 

“For the record, I would’ve been perfectly fine there.”

 

“That’s not the point! You’re family, and you’ve been gone for so long I don’t think you even know what it means to be part of this family anymore.”

 

“I was doing other things” Nic shrugged throwing the blanket back, and putting her feet on the floor.

 

“Like what? Traipsing around the country with two trailer trash hunters?!”

 

“Like saving the world! You don’t know what we did, what we lost, what we fucking went through!”

 

“Girls please” they both looked to the doorway of Nic’s room as their grandfather rolled his wheelchair up to the door.  “It pains me to see you two fight, you are sisters.”

 

“The only thing she, and I have in common is a dead alcoholic father who wasted his life away on this reservation, and had a nasty habit of knocking up white women.” Nic snapped before leaving the room.

 

Dagmar sighed, and sat on Nic’s bed.

 

“It will be okay” Grandfather said “Your other sisters are visiting today yes?”

 

“Yeah grandpa” Dagmar smiled wearily “That’s why I was trying to get Nic up.  It’s the first time the four of us have been together since she was seventeen.  It’s been almost twelve years.”

 

* * *

 

Nic sat as away from her half-sisters as the table would allow.  She wasn’t being antisocial as her second oldest sister liked to say.  She just really wasn’t close to this family anymore.  The brothers had been her family for almost ten years, and she was all they knew anymore.

 

“So where have you been?” Her youngest sister asked.  She was five years younger than Nic, and had been a surprise to everyone including their father.  Nic was supposed to be the last child, but instead they had been given little Falin Wolfe.  Nic’s oldest sister was Dagmar Hawke, and then the next, only one year older than Nic was Freyja Blackwall.

 

“I’ve been working” Nic shrugged swirling her straw around her glass of water.  The sisters didn’t spend much time growing up, but they were all much closer to each other than Nic was to any of them.  Nic’s mother had moved her far away from the reservation when she was ten, and kept coming home from school sick, and dirty, and with a head full of lice. She’d lost all contact with her sisters until she was about to graduate high school.

 

“Working where?” Freyja asked smiling gently.

 

“Contract work.  Takes me all over the country.”

 

“Nic, they’re not stupid, you can tell them what you’ve actually been doing” Dagmar sighed.  Nic just glared at her.

 

“You think you’re the only witch in the family?  It comes from dad’s side.  We’ve all got it; we just didn’t have a great teacher like you.”

 

“You knew about Moira?” Nic asked.

 

“Yeah, we’ve had contact with the Grand Coven before about us becoming initiates due to our natural talent.”

 

Nic shook her head, and looked back at Freyja.  “I’ve been hunting.  Monsters.”

 

“But that’s so dangerous!” Freyja gasped.

 

“And exciting” Falin grinned.

 

“And has cost me nearly everything in my entire life.” Nic shrugged.

 

“Are you talking about the Winchester brothers?” Falin asked.

 

“How do you know about them?”

 

“Everyone who’s part of the witch community knows about them” Falin shrugged “Knew that they kept a witch with them, we thought it made them more sensitive towards us, and less likely to hunt us.”

 

“Yeah well definitely not the case, Sam, and Dean tried to hunt me before.”

 

“Before you started hunting with them?” Freyja asked.

 

“While I was hunting with them.  They believed a demon over me.”

 

“Still, to travel all over the country, saving people, and hunting things” Falin sighed wistfully.

 

“It’s not an easy job, and its not for the faint of heart.  I’ve killed more than just monsters, and I’ve lost the people closest to me, and I’ve hurt people more than you could know just saving people.  It’s not romantic, it’s life or death, and most times it’s death.”

 

Nic slammed her glass on the table, and got up to leave.

 

“Was it something I said?” Falin whispered worriedly at her older sisters.

 

* * *

 

“Nic, wait!”

 

She turned to see her little sister running after her.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I want to apologize” Falin said.  “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

 

“No, it’s fine.  I over reacted.  I’m still just working through some stuff.”

 

“I get it.  I just… I want you to be part of this family.  I’ve always looked up to you Nic.  You’ve always been the strongest, the bravest.  You’ve always known what you’re about, and what you’re doing, I just… I just want to be more like my sisters.”

 

Nic sighed, and smiled gently at her sister.  “I was gonna go to the store, and get some hair dye.  Wanna help me dye my hair back to black?”

 

“And get rid of that beautiful red? Are you crazy?”

 

“Yeah, little bit.  Always have been, kinda runs in the family.”

 

Just then Nic’s phone went off.  Text message.

 

 

**_One new message: Dean_ **

****

 

She opened it.

 

 

**_Haunting near you.  Legend Lake.  W19983 Sunrise Road._ **

 

****

_How do you know where I am??_

 

No reply.

 

“What’s wrong?” Falin asked.

 

“Angry ghost in Legend Lake.”

 

“Can I come?” Falin asked breathelessly.

 

“Have you ever been on a hunt before?”

 

“No but –”

 

“Then no.  I’m not putting you in danger.  I told you this job isn’t easy, and it isn’t safe.”

 

“I’ll stay in the car, please I just… I just wanna know you’re safe.”

 

Nic sighed in frustration.

 

“If something happens to you, you know Dag is gonna kill me right?”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

Nic groaned, tossing her head back in annoyance before she finally spoke.

 

“Get in.”

 

“You mean it?”

 

“Do it before I change my mind.”

 

Falin squealed with joy practically skipping over to Nic’s car.

 

“This is gonna go tits up” Nic shook her head.

 

* * *

 

It went tits up.

 

Falin was unconscious on the living room floor, while the petrified family waited outside for Nic to finish her job.

 

“This is fucking ridiculous.” Nic sighed shotgun up.  The spirit started charging at her, and Nic fired the gun.  Just then her phone rang.

 

 

**_Dean calling_ **

****

 

“What the fuck dude?”

 

“ _You’re at the house right?”_

 

“Of course I am!”

 

Dean could hear her firing her gun off again.

 

“ _Good, we’re about to burn the bones._ ”

 

“If you’re burning the bones, why the hell did you even message me?”

 

“ _Someone needed to distract the ghost, and keep the family safe._ ”

 

Just then the spirit began to burn from the inside out before it disappeared with a haunting screech.

 

“Well it’s gone.  Goodbye.”

 

“ _Nic wait!_ ”

 

She hung up, and looked at her sister.

 

“Falin?” She asked gently nudging the younger woman with her shoe.  She stirred.

 

“Oh thank Christ” Nic sighed “C’mon.  It’s over.”

 

“Already?”

 

“Yeah, you were like… zero help.”

 

Falin groaned.

 

“Everyone’s first hunt sucks Falin.  It takes time, and patience to make a life out of this.  And you don’t want to make a life out of this.”

 

Falin sat up with a sad sigh.  “I just want to help people, like you.”

 

“And you can do that through magical ability.  Go back to your tutor, see about opening your own shop, and provide services for the Rez.  Just… stay out of danger like this.  I don’t wanna lose any more family.”

 

Falin smiled.  “Yeah.  That sounds good.”

 

* * *

 

“What if she doesn’t want to see us?” Sam asked as Dean drove the Impala up the dirt path leading to.

 

“We won’t know if we don’t try man.  We’re in her neck of the woods, it won’t hurt to swing by.”

 

“If you’re sure.” Sam sighed.

 

Dean was optimistic about Nic, but Sam knew better.  She wanted out, and she was out.  They couldn’t keep forcing themselves back into her life, and it had taken him months to come to terms with that.  But Dean was still in denial it seemed.

 

The stopping in the grass yard in front of the house.

 

“You coming?” Dean asked looking over at Sam.

 

“Yeah” He agreed, still not feeling well over the idea of this visit.

 

The stepped up to the door, and rang the bell.  The door opened shortly after by a short brown woman, with short dark hair, and dark narrow eyes.

 

“Hi, we’re friends if Nic’s –”

 

“Winchesters?” She asked raising an eyebrow at them.

 

“Uh… yeah.  How’d you know?”

 

“She’s told me about you.  I’m Nic’s older sister, Dagmar.  She’s out in the garden” Dagmar stepped aside to open the door wider to allow the brothers in.  She pointed to the sliding glass door that led to the enclosed back yard.  Dean could see Nic working at some herbs with another girl.

 

“Who’s she with?” Dean asked.

 

“That’s our youngest sister, Falin.”

 

“Nic never told us she had sisters” Sam said.

 

“Yeah, and she never told us she was fucking two brothers at the same time.  Everyone has secrets.”

 

Dagmar walked away, and the brothers looked at each other.

 

“I get the feeling they don’t get along well” Dean said.

 

“You wouldn’t say” Sam scoffed.

 

Dean walked over to the patio door watching Nic for another moment.  She was there finally.  It had been six months since they had last seen each other, and Dean was missing her more than he could even bare some days.  He wondered if she’d be happy to see him, or if she’d be angry like she had sounded on the phone.

 

He wondered if she laid awake at night missing him, and Sam like he missed her.  Seeing her there in the garden, looking peaceful was like seeing her in a new light.  Like he was seeing her for the first time.

 

She looked happy without him, Dean knew, but he was miserable without her.

 

He finally worked up the courage, and slid the door open.

 

She looked up, and she smiled.

 

Slowly Dean smiled back.  Maybe this would go better than he thought.  Maybe… maybe he’d be able to convince her to finally come home.  Maybe she’d come back to hunting.  Maybe she’d been just as miserable as he, and Sam had been.

 

She stood up, and walked towards Dean, and suddenly he felt like a teenager again.  Knees weak, sweaty palms, his mouth went dry, and he lost all train of thought.

 

Finally she spoke.

 

“Hey there stranger.”

 

“Hey yourself” He replied.

 

And maybe things would be okay.  It would take some work, it always did.  But they were on the right track, and soon they’d be able to find a way to get rid of this mark.

 

Maybe Dean wasn’t the man he once was when this all started, but she wasn’t the woman she once was.

 

They’d both grown, and learned.

 

But love was love, and love took work.

 

And this was something he wanted to work for.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minorly altered version of a chapter that was previously on Memento Mori. Altered to reflect Nic leaving, and returning, etc. So if you recognize this chapter you'll know why. I just liked it so much originally that I wanted to recycle it since i felt it helped move things naturally forward lol.

“Excuse you, what the fuck is this?” Nic asked grabbing Dean’s phone off the table.  They were in Illinois now, heading back home to Kansas.  Dean had convinced her to come home; of course Nic had been stubborn at first, but eventually she relented, and said good bye to her sisters.  Nic had never seen Dagmar smile as much as when she’d been driving away.

 

“Why are you looking through my phone?”

 

“Why are you using a fucking dating app?” Nic demanded around a mouthful of food.  Sam’s eyes widened.

 

“I have to go… not here” Sam attempted to get up.

 

“You’re staying right the fuck there!” Nic hissed.

 

“Look, we’re… on a break or whatever right? That’s what you told me, you don’t want to fully commit to me right now because you’re still trying to get over the whole… demon thing.”

 

“That doesn’t change that we’re together Dean.  Sam doesn’t go out, and get side chicks, so why are you?”

 

“To be fair Sweetheart Sam isn’t capable of getting side chicks.  And we’re not really together right? So why not?” Dean shrugged taking a big bite out of his burger.

 

“That’s low even for you Dean” Sam shook his head.

 

“What? Tell me what the problem here is, we’re not together right now, and you have Sam by the short, and curlys so why can’t I have fun if you don’t want me full time?”

 

“You know what Dean, fuck you.  Do whatever you fucking want; you’re an adult I ain’t gonna stop you” Nic shook her head throwing her food down on her plate; she got up and headed for the bathroom.

 

“And speaking of adults… there she is” Dean grinned.  Sam looked over, and was shocked to see that the woman in question was drop dead gorgeous.

 

“Dean this isn’t really something you’d do, especially not to Nic, and especially not since you’re the one who wanted her to come home, and you’re the one who made us go out of our way to get her to come home.”

 

Dean shrugged “I don’t know what to tell ya Sam.  She’s still on the fence about committing to me full time, so I won’t waste my time committing to her full time.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like you” Sam shook his head.

 

Dean shrugged “Maybe I’m just finally starting to understand that whole if you love something let it go bullshit.”

 

Sam watched Dean walk out with the girl on his arm.  When he went to go check on Nic in the bathroom he heard crying.  When she came back to the table a few minutes after, a bright smile on her face Sam pretended not to see the tear track marks on her face, or the puffy redness of her eyes.

* * *

 

“You know he still loves you right?” Sam asked coming up behind Nic, hands on her shoulders messaging.

 

“What?”

 

“Dean.  Just cause he wanted to… get laid doesn’t mean that he’s stopped loving you.”

 

Nic scoffed.

 

“Whatever, I’m over it.  He wants to be that way then fine; it’s not like he’s the reason I’m coming home or anything” Nic shrugged.

 

“Nic… I heard you crying.”

 

Nic turned in her seat on the couch, and glared at Sam.

 

“You didn’t hear shit.”

 

“Nic, it’s okay to be upset about it, I would be too if I was in your spot-”

 

“Sam just… please.  I don’t want to talk about it okay?”

 

Sam pressed a kiss to Nic’s cheek.

 

“I still love you Nic, no matter what.”

 

Next thing Nic knew she was kissing Sam as he laid her down on one of the motel beds.  Her shirt followed quickly, as did Sam’s. 

 

Then she was lying flat on her stomach ass slightly raised while Sam pressed open mouthed kisses against her neck, and his hand snaked around front to play with her clit.

 

“Sam” Nic whimpered pressing her ass against his crotch his hand following her movements.

 

“You’re not getting off that easy Princess” Sam whispered hotly in her ear “You’ve been gone for months; I’ve missed you.”

 

“I missed you too, don’t think for a second I didn’t.”

 

Sam laughed breathily in her ear before pulling back from her.  Nic whimpered at the loss of contact wanting his hands back where they were.  Nic twisted her body to look at Sam, and she just smiled shyly at the look of pure adoration he gave her.

 

“What?”

 

“Just… you.  You’re… you’re everything to me Nic, you know that right?”

 

“I know.”

 

“But… you still don’t love me as much as you love Dean” He sighed rubbing the back of his head.

 

“I only said that to hurt you” Nic turned to sit up, pulling herself away from Sam bringing her knees to her chest in an attempt to cover herself a little.

 

“But it was still true” The way Sam said it sounded like a question.

 

“With Dean it’s just… explosive you know? In everything we do, love, hate, arguments, sex…”

 

“And with me?”

 

“It’s just comfortable.  And I like that, I really do.  Because when things get bad, and I need that shoulder to cry on, or just… someone to comfort me I have you.  Except when we have sex” Nic grinned.

 

Sam smirked.  “Yeah?”

 

“Oh yeah.  Sex with you is just… primal.  I mean if I want sweet, and slow, or fast, and hard Dean’ll give that to me.  But you? You give me rough” Nic leaned forward placing a hand on Sam’s chest.  “You take all the control, and make me take everything you’ve got to give, and I fucking love it.”

 

Nic pressed Sam down on the bed, and straddled his waist.  “Now the question is” She smiled unbuckling Sam’s belt, and pulling it through the loops “Are you gonna give it to me now?”

 

Sam sat up, nose to nose with Nic.

 

“What do you think?” Sam replied, voice thick, and husky with arousal.

 

The door banged open.

 

“We have a problem” Dean called walking in his “date” in tow.  Dean stopped dead looking at the pair confused.  “Seriously?”

 

The girl looked at them, impressed.

 

“We thought you were out getting your own, Dean!” Nic sighed in frustration getting off Sam, and grabbing up all her clothes before heading into the bathroom.

 

“You left that to have a good time with a hooker?” The girl asked Dean looking at him shocked.

 

“That’s what I said” Sam sighed getting up, and getting his own clothes back on.

 

“ _What’s goin’ on now?_ ” Nic called from the bathroom.

 

“Demonic whore house.” Dean replied.  Nic opened the door in time for her, and Sam to speak in unison.

 

“What?”

 

* * *

 

“Who the hell are they?” The brunette cried.

 

“Hunters” The small red headed woman spat.

 

“And a Witch” Nic smirked tossing her own hexbag back, and forth to herself.

 

“Really? And what is our kind doing with them?”

 

“Rowena right?” Nic asked stepping forward towards the girls.

 

“Always nice to be recognized by a fan.” Rowena lifted her chin proudly.

 

“Wouldn’t even come close to calling me that” Nic shook her head.

 

Rowena took a step towards Nic, and then her eyes widened.

 

“Well I’ll be… it’s so… rare to meet a natural.  Especially one in your day and age to be born with the gift.” Rowena grinned.

 

“Wouldn’t exactly call the things I can do with a flick of my wrist a gift” Nic said slipping her hexbag into her jacket pocket.

 

“We’re taking you with us” Dean said, his, and Sam’s guns still pointed at her.

 

“Do something!” The blonde girl whispered, the fear in her voice clear “A spell or something!”

 

“That is an excellent idea” Rowena took the blondes hand, and placed a hexbag in it. “Impetus bestiarum,”

 

The girl bent at the waist, screaming, and when she stood back up her eyes were bleeding.

 

“What did you do to her?” Dean yelled.  She hit Nic first knocking her to the ground.  Rowena pulled the other girl away with her while all three hunters were distracted by the girl attacking them.  Nic got up in time for the girl to knock Sam down; she pulled her gun from the back of her jeans.

 

“Hey bitch!” Nic snapped.  The girl turned to look at her, and got a bullet right in the forehead.  “I’m done fucking around today!” Nic snapped stepping over both the brothers as she headed outside.

 

“Nic wait!” Dean snapped staggering up to his feet “Goddamnit!” He snapped running after her.

 

Outside there was no Rowena to be found, but instead there was someone else.

 

“Fancy seeing you again” Nic glared at the short man “Cole right? The one who tried to kill my boys?”

 

“Sam was nothin’ personal, but Dean? Now I know all about Dean’s kind.”

 

“Dean’s kind?”

 

“Demons.  And I heard about what he did to you, made you do, and you’d protect him after that?”

 

Nic scoffed.  “Great now the king of hell’s entourage is gossiping about what I got up to while I was high? Fan – fucking – tastic.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nic!” Dean called running out of the back door.

 

“There he is” Cole glared, a smile on his face.

 

“Ah hell” Dean sighed “Look pal, I ain’t got time for this alright, I’ve got more important things to do.”

 

“I know what you are Dean Winchester” Cole snapped throwing water in Dean’s face.  When nothing happened Cole looked noticeably confused.

 

“Holy water?” Nic asked.  Cole nodded.

 

“I’m not a demon anymore” Dean sighed.

 

“Were you when you killed my father?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then you’re still a monster.”

 

Cole moved in an attempt to make a swing at Dean,

 

“ _Menate_ ” Nic’s hand shot out before he could go any further stopping him in place.

 

“What the hell?” Cole grunted muscles twitching in an attempt to move, but he was stuck.

 

“Magic dipshit.  I’m a witch” Nic sighed.  She was getting sick of explaining this to every single person they met.  Ever since she’d gotten off the demon blood she couldn’t do magic with a simple gesture anymore, and she missed it.  She wanted that power, and that strength back.

 

“Look, you’re gonna listen to me, for five minutes, and then she’ll let you go, and hopefully we can get all this shit sorted out” Dean said “And after that… you don’t like what you hear, you take your shot.”

 

“Dean-”

 

“Sweetheart, just… can it for a couple minutes okay?” Dean pleaded before looking back to Cole.  “I… we, my brother, me, and Nic… we hunt monsters. You dad, Cole… your dad was a monster.”

 

“You say that but last time we fought you couldn’t even remember his name!”

 

“2003, Nyack, New York. Ed Trenton.  I was working a case; three dead – livers ripped out, and eaten by your dad.”

 

“Livers?” Cole asked incredulously.

 

“I tracked him that night, to your house.”

 

“You say he was a monster, then what kind was he?”

 

“I don’t know” Dean sighed “Never seen that kind before, never seen it again.  All I know is that he came home that night looking to kill – could’ve been you, could’ve been your mom.”

 

“No” Cole shook his head helplessly, and Nic released him from her hold knowing that the fight had gone out of him.

 

“The only reason it didn’t happen is because I was there to stop him.”

 

“His voice… I heard it that night, he was just a man!” Cole yelled.

 

“All monsters do it” Nic smirked “You think I haven’t mustered up a few crocodile tears to stop a different hunter from killing me? There’ve been a few who tried, said I wasn’t human enough anymore.”

 

“You’re still walkin’ why ain’t my father?”

 

“I’ve never hurt people.  There are monsters… and then there are _monsters_.”

 

“Sam put it down!” Dean snapped, all head’s turned to look at Sam slowly approaching his gun raised.  Cole raised his in a second.

 

“Everyone put the guns down!” Dean yelled.  Cole, and Sam exchanged wary looks but both lowering their guns.

 

“How can I believe you?” Cole asked “My whole life I’ve been…”

 

“I get it.  That was your story, we’ve all got one. But those stories we all tell ourselves to keep us going?  Man sometimes they blind us.  They take us to dark places – the kind of place where I’d beat the shit outta a good man just for laughs but the people who love me?” Dean looked at Nic “They pulled me back from that edge.”

 

Dean shook his head, and looked back at Cole.  “Once you touch that darkness there’s no going back. The truth is… I’m past saving. I know how my story ends; it’s at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun.  The question is, is it gonna be today? That goin’ to be the gun?”

 

“You got a family Cole” Sam called “And I think they need you to come back whole.”

 

* * *

 

 “So where’s Cole goin’?” Nic asked as she walked beside Dean back to the Impala.

 

“Home.  With his family, where he belongs.”

 

Nic nodded.  “Speaking of families” She spoke a little louder turning to walk backwards, and look at Sam “My sisters absolutely adore the both of you.  Must run in the family.”

 

“Bet it does” Dean smiled tiredly.

 

Nic stopped dead looking across the street.

 

“Nic?” Sam asked “Something wrong?”

 

“Uh… no.  I think there’s a cat stuck in the grate over there though.  I’ll go get the little guy!”

 

“We’re not bringing any strays with us!” Dean called after her “Especially no cats!”

 

Nic headed into the alley, and stopped when she turned to face the dead end.

 

“Rowena.”

 

“There you are… I never got a name from you actually.”

 

“Nic.”

 

“Nic? That’s a little… mannish, is it short for something?”

 

“Nikita.”

 

“Now that’s a proper name befitting a proper Witch” Rowena smiled walking towards Nic “But you aren’t really a proper Witch are you? Never had a proper teacher, never been able to practice the craft properly, always hunting down the next monster to go bump in the night.”

 

“I had someone, and she’s dead now, but she was the best teacher I could’ve asked for” Nic snapped “Now why are you still here.  You know we’re still looking for you.”

 

“What can I say you had me… intrigued” Rowena placed a hexbag in Nic’s hand “Now before you panic, that’s just my calling card.”

 

“Calling card?” Nic scoffed looking at the leather pouch.

 

“You just put all the ingredients together in the tracking spell written inside, and you’ll be able to find me no matter where I am.  It’s a onetime deal though… so be sure it’s what you actually want.”

 

“And what is it you think I want?”

 

“A real teacher.  Someone who can help you become strong again; you’re a witch Nikita.  You were born to strip lungs of their breath, to destroy pretty little things, and burn them to the ground.  You were born to bring the world to its knees, and hear your name spoken only in fearful whispers!” Rowena panted, her voice breathy with excitement “You were meant to be a Witch, and I was meant to teach you.”

 

“What’s to stop me from using this to kill you?”

 

“Why haven’t you killed me yet? Or called your lumberjacks over?”

 

“Nic!” She heard Dean call, she turned to see if he was close, and when she looked back Rowena was gone.  She pocketed the hexbag, and headed towards Dean calling back to him.  She had some thinking to do.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving things along. Nic's not in a good place after coming home with the boys, and Dean's still trying to learn to live with the mark. Cas is in the middle of a mid life crisis, and along comes Claire Novak.

“Cas I just want you to know, that this is in no way an emergency” Dean said walking up the steps of the restaurant where Cas stood outside waiting for them.

 

“Well I think it’s an emergency” He huffed folding his arms.

 

“No, okay.  A dead body is an emergency, a wigged out angel is an emergency, hell the Apocalypse take three, is an emergency! Take your pick! Some chick bolting on you isn’t an emergency that’s… that’s every Friday night for Sam” Dean smirked at his own joke.

 

“Dude” Sam, and Nic replied in unison.

 

He turned them shrugging “Well?”

 

“You’re not entirely wrong” Nic agreed.

 

“Dude!” Sam snapped looking at her.

 

“This isn’t just some chick.  I am responsible for her!” Cas snapped.

 

“Since when? She ain’t your kid Cas, she ain’t your responsibility!” Dean snapped.

 

“Even if we do find her then what?” Sam asked.

 

“She robbed you, and took off.  It’s clear she don’t exactly want to play house” Dean said.

 

“I understand that but I just… I need to know she’s safe. And I need your help to do that.” Cas sighed.

 

“Of course Cas” Nic finally spoke up.  “Family is family man.  We gotta look out for each other.  Me, and Sam will go ask around at the group home, and you, and Dean can sit her for a bit… see if she circles back maybe.”

 

She looked worse for wear Cas noticed.  Between coming home to the boys, and researching constantly on the Mark of Cain, and the almost nonstop hunting she was exhausted, and it was showing.  She hated admitting that she’d been happier living back with her family in Wisconsin.  No matter how much she had missed her boys; it had been a bad idea to let Dean talk her into coming home.

* * *

 

 

“Is ketchup a vegetable?” Cas asked.

 

“Hell yes it is” Dean replied with no hesitation, and a mouth full of burger. “So spill, what’s with the family reunion?”

 

“I’ve just… been thinking about people, I’ve helped some… hurt others”

 

Dean switched his empty plate with Cas’s full one, and set into that.

 

“So you’re having a midlife crisis is what you’re gettin’ at.”

 

“Well I’m extremely old.  I think I’ve earned it.”

 

“Listen Cas, cause I’m about to lay down some knowledge.  There’s some stuff you gotta let go.  The people you’ve let down, the ones you can’ save.  You gotta forget about them.  For your own good.”

 

“Is that what you do?”

 

“It’s the exact opposite of what I do.  But I ain’t exactly a role model.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

Dean scoffed.

 

“Yeah man, whatever you say.”

 

Cas stared at him for a long moment, seeing the exhaustion on Dean, and remembering the way Nic looked.

 

“How are you Dean?”

 

“Fine I guess.” He shrugged.

 

“No you’re not.”

 

“Well I’m not a demon anymore, so I guess I gotta take a win where I can get it right?”

 

“Is the mark still affecting you?”

 

Dean looked down at the mark for a moment, and his dream came flooding back.  Him kneeling in a room full of blood, and bodies, and no memory of what had happened, or why he’d done it.  Just an empty feeling of another life taken.  Of another reason why he shouldn’t be here anymore.

 

“You gotta promise me something” Dean said quietly.

 

“Of course.  Anything.”

 

“If I go dark side… if I turn back, if I ever become that thing again” _If I ever hurt Nic like that again_ “You need to take me out.  Stab me, smite me, throw me in the fucking sun for all I care.  You just gotta stop me… no matter what.”  He shook his head.  “I can’t be that thing again.”

 

“I understand” Cas agreed.

 

* * *

 

Sam, and Nic exited the group home in their work clothes.  They climbed into the Impala, and Nic sat the case file down beside her on the bench seat.  She clicked her seat belt into place, and when she looked at Sam he was watching her intently.

 

“What?” She smiled at him.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“I dunno… I hear you, and Dean up at all hours of the night… and not in the good way.  You don’t sleep in either of our rooms any more. I’m just… worried about you.”

 

“You don’t gotta be” She shrugged “I’m fine.  I mean, I never sleep as it is anyway, you know that.”

 

“Do you think you… that maybe you shouldn’t have come home with us?”

 

They sat in silence for a minute before Nic shrugged.

 

“I dunno.  Sometimes.  You know I love you, and Dean, but it’s just… not the same love as before.  We used to have that In Love, love.  Now it just feels like the I can’t leave because I don’t know anything else love.  Like… Like I’m trapped with you two.”

 

“But you’re not.  We’ve given you every out possible at every turn.”

“And I know that.  But… loyalty is still a thing Sam.  And some optimistic part of me is holding out hope that things will finally go back to normal, that we can get that mark off Dean, and we can all be happy again but…”

 

“But?”

 

“A little more of that part of me dies at every dead end.”

 

“Nic…”

 

“Somedays I just… I don’t wanna be here anymore.”

 

* * *

 

“Easy there Miley Cyrus” Dean said trying to stop Claire from walking off.

 

“Eat me, Hasselhoff!” She flipped him off, and tried to keep walking.  Cas grabbed her arm pulling her back.

 

“Claire hold on a sec, my names–”

 

“Sam.  And he’s Dean, and she’s Nic.  We’ve met before, remember?” She snapped finally stopping.

 

“Were you going to rob that convenience store?” Cas demanded.

 

“So?” She shrugged.

 

“So? It’s – It’s wrong!”

 

“You wanna talk about wrong?” She glared at him “You killed my dad, you tore apart my family, you ruined my life! Is that wrong enough for you?!”

 

“I didn’t do that” Cas tried to plead.

 

“Really? Because without you, my dad would still be alive, and my mom wouldn’t have run off!”

 

“Claire –”

 

She pulled the gun out of her hoodie pocket, and pointed it at Cas.

 

“That’s not going to hurt me” Cas sighed.

 

“Fine” She glared at him, and turned to point her cocked gun at the trio of hunters.

 

“Whoa” Dean said, his, and Sam’s hands flying up in defense.

 

“Just, hold on a second” Sam said.

 

“What? Like the three of you don’t have it coming? You stood there, and watched while this monster took my dad!” Claire hissed.

 

Nic stepped forward, and Claire straightened her arm out.

 

“Don’t come closer.”

 

“Nic, what’re you doing?” Dean asked.

 

“Claire you’re not going to hurt anyone.” Nic said “And I could see it when Cas was pulling you out of that store.  You were going to pussy out at the last second.”

 

“You don’t know that!” She snapped “You don’t know me! You don’t know anything!”

 

Nic stepped into Claire’s gun, letting the barrel press right to her chest.

 

“Don’t think I won’t pull the trigger!” Claire said.

 

“Then do it” Nic said “You’re not scared to pull the trigger, and I’m not scared to die, so just do it.  You’re an adult, you’re strong enough, you’re brave enough.  So go ahead, and pull the trigger. But I know you won’t.”

 

“What the fuck do you know about me?” Claire snapped.

 

“I know you don’t have it in you to take a life. I know that you’re hurt cause you’ve lost your family.  That if Cas hadn’t come along, everything would still be fine in your world.”

 

“My father was a good man, and he didn’t deserve to die!”

 

“And neither did every single person in the world.  That’s why your father agreed to let Cas possess him.  The lives of the many outweigh the lives of the one. And if your dad hadn’t let Cas back in that would be you in his spot right now, and your dad would still be dead.  Now you tell me what’s better?”

 

Claire dropped her arm.

 

“Anything but this” She replied, Nic could hear in her voice that she was on the verge of tears.

 

“I’m sorry” Cas said.  Claire look at him, and shook her head.

 

“You feel guilty.  There’s a difference.”

 

“So now what?” Sam asked “You run back to Randy? The guy you steal for?”

 

“How do you know about that?” Claire demanded.

 

“Dustin told us.  He’s kind of a pushover.” Nic said.

 

“That man is using you Claire” Cas said.

 

“You’re only as good to him, as what you can do for him” Nic said.

 

“Fuck you! He was there when no one else way, when things got bad – and they got _real_ fucking bad.  He’s my family! And you’re just…”  She looked at the four people in the alley, and shook her head, tucking her gun away.  “You can all just go to hell” She said walking off.

 

“Nic?” Dean said.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Don’t ever do shit like that ever again.  I nearly shit my pants.”

 

Nic laughed, “No promises.”

 

* * *

 

Cas, and Nic got Claire out of the house with minimal trouble.

 

“You okay?” Cas asked.

 

“Yeah” She said breathing heavily.

 

“You did good” Nic said “Never let yourself be a victim.”

 

Claire nodded.

 

“I’m gonna go back in for Dean, you two stay out here.”

 

Cas nodded at her as Claire hugged him close putting her head on his chest. As Nic was walking up the steps of the house the sounds of men shouting filled the air, and brought everyone running. 

 

Nic was the first to see him.  Kneeling on the floor, covered in blood; bodies, and blood covering the floor.

 

“Jesus Christ” She whispered putting her hand to her mouth.  Dean looked at her, and she could see the fear, and the anguish there.

 

Nic heard a scream, and looked back to see Cas pulling Claire back to his side, trying to cover her eyes.

 

“Get her out of here!” Nic snapped.  Cas nodded, and led Claire out of the house.  Sam came in behind them, and dropped to his knees in front of Dean grabbing his shoulders.

 

“Dean? Dean, look at me” Sam gave him a shake, and Dean finally seemed to come out of his trance.

 

“Tell me you had to do this” Sam begged.

 

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to” Dean whispered in the most broken voice Nic had ever heard.

 

“No!” Sam snapped “Tell me it was you or them!”

 

Dean just looked back down at his hands, seeming to realize what he had done. Nic shook her head, and headed outside. Claire was sitting in the Impala sobbing, and Cas was standing just outside the car watching the house, waiting for them to come out.

 

“What happened?” Cas asked.

 

“I think… I think it was the mark.  They must have provoked him.”

 

“Bullshit!” Claire screamed, going back to sobbing.

 

“Can I talk to her for a sec?” Nic asked looking at Cas.  He nodded.

 

Nic walked over to the open car door, and climbed in sitting next to the young girl.

 

“I was exactly like you at your age.  I lost everything when I was a kid, my dad died when I was young, but he was never around anyway.  He was an alcoholic, and he beat my mother, and all of his other baby momma’s.”

 

Claire’s hiccupping sobs eased as she looked at Nic.

 

“Why’re you telling me this?”

 

“Because I went my whole childhood thinking I was worthless, and unwanted, and unloved.  I thought I was good for nothing, but then I met someone, and she was like a mother to me.  She taught me to be strong, and to live for myself, and that I am good, and that I can be worth something.  She was like a mother to me.”

 

“Is she still around?”

 

“No she’s… she’s dead now.  It’s been almost a year since it happened.  But she taught me a lot.  And if you want I could teach you too.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Claire… how would you like to learn magic?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An encounter with Metatron.

Nic sat in the dark of the library staring at the hex bag Rowena had given to her.  She placed her elbows on her thighs, and covered her face with her hands.

 

“What the fuck are you thinking Nic?” She whispered to herself “You were out, and then you wanted back in, and now you fucking want out again.”

 

She rocked herself back, and forth for a little bit.

 

“Then go Nic.”

 

She stopped dead, and sighed.

 

“Dean…”

 

“We’re not fucking holding you hostage, so just go.  You’re unhappy, Sam told me what you told him back in Pontiac… that you don’t wanna be here anymore.  I’m not gonna let you kill yourself, I don’t even want you to think like that –”

 

“Well I wouldn’t fucking think like that if you’d just let me finish the trials!”

 

“Fuck you” Dean shook his head.  “Fuck you, and your fucking bullshit, and your fucking games Nic.  Just fuck you.”

 

“My games?!” Nic screamed standing up “What about you, and telling me you love one second only to put your fucking hands on me the next you fucking piece of shit!”

 

Dean nodded “That’s right.  I’m a fucking piece of shit, that’s what you tell everyone, that’s what you tell other hunters, and witches right? Dean Winchester is a piece of shit, and he hits women, and drinks himself to death.”

 

“No.  I never tell other people that Dean, because I tell them what you really are.”

 

“And what am I really?”

 

“The bravest, kindest man I’ve ever known, and he’s made some mistakes, and some bad choices yeah, but all he does, all he ever does is try to make up for them.”

 

They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Dean shook his head.

 

“I got a lead on the Mark.  Get your shit together… or don’t.  Come or not, it doesn’t matter.”

* * *

 

 

“What does he even fucking know?” Nic asked walking into the interrogation following Dean into the dungeon.

 

“Oh now Sweetheart I thought we agreed we were gonna play good cop/bad cop” Dean said.

 

“Changed my mind walking in” She said “Now we’re gonna play bad cop/worse cop.”

 

“You really think I’m scared of you?” Metatron laughed “What’s there to be scared of? A – a hunter, and a maniac, and piss poor excuse of a witch?”

 

“I think you’re more scared than you let on” Nic folded her arms across her chest “After all you’re dealing with three of the most dangerous people that have ever walked this fucking planet.  A not a single damn one of them gives a single fuck about whether or not you make it back to your prison cell alive.”

 

Nic took the angel blade from Dean’s hand, and in a second had it pressed against Metatron’s throat as he cried out.

 

“I’d talk if I were you” Sam said, “It’s not smart to piss off a witch.”

 

“It’s just not smart to piss of Nic fucking Remington!” Nic snapped digging the angel blade into the skin just enough to let Metatron know she wasn’t fucking around, he screamed in pain.  “Ever hear of something called the Angel Banishing Spell? Heard from Cas that it hurts like fuck even if you don’t complete it.  I could do that you know… keep you just on the cusp of being thrown out of your vessel; wouldn’t actually let you out of your vessel of course.  Would do it just long enough to make you realize just who you think you’re fucking talking to.”

 

“Nic” Dean said.

 

“ _Omnipotentis Dei potestatem invoco_ ” Nic began the spell,

 

“Nic stop it” Dean said louder.

 

 _“Omnipotentis Dei potestatem invoco_ _Aborro te ut_ ”

 

“Nic you need to stop now” Sam said taking a step toward her as Metatron began to glow white from the inside out.

 

 _“Angelum omnium obsequendum_ ”

 

“Nic that’s enough” Dean said sternly grabbing her shoulder.  She jerked out of his hold, and continued with the spell.

 

 _“Domine expuet_ ”

 

“Enough!” Dean bellowed grabbing Nic by both shoulders, and throwing her to the ground.  She glared up at Dean, and threw the Angel Blade on the floor.

 

“What the hell?” Dean demanded.

 

“I was going to stop!” She snapped getting up, and stormed out of the room.

 

“Sam” Dean nodded his head at the door.

 

“Got it” He nodded, and followed after Nic.

 

Metatron was panting when Dean looked him.

 

“Alright so I get the message.  Your girlfriend is scary.”

 

“She’s more than just scary Metatron.  She knows plenty of other spells” Dean said picking up the angel blade “The question is… are you going to tell me what I need to know? Or do I need to bring her back in here?  Cause let me let you in on something man; that girl is a whole different level of crazy then I am.  Now put the two of us together?”

 

“It’s a whole new level, I get it” Metatron nodded “What do you want to hear first?”

 

* * *

 

“What the fuck was that?” Sam demanded finally stopping Nic in the kitchen.  She was grabbing a glass, and grabbing the whiskey from the freezer with shaking hands.

 

“I don’t know” She admitted quietly “I don’t fucking know.”

 

She poured herself a glass, and sat the bottle down on the table, taking a seat herself.

 

“Are you okay?” Sam asked.

 

“No.  I’m fucking not, I’ve never… tortured someone like that. I’ve never… killed just out of spite, or just because I know I could.  But I was fucking ready to, and that scared the shit out of me.”

 

“Is there anything I can do?” Sam asked.

 

Nic laughed, and it was hollow, and cold, and so far from the woman he had once known.

 

“No Sam.  There’s nothing you can do for someone who’s fucking losing it.” She downed her entire shot of whiskey, and poured another.  “The worst part is… I don’t even know why I’m getting like this; everything was okay for a while there, and now? Now I’m just fucking crazy.”

 

“You’re not crazy you’re… unstable, and we all get like that sometimes” Sam spoke reassuringly.  But Nic just laughed again.

 

“Unstable… that’s the word for it.  Me, and your brother… we’re fucking unstable, but by God we’re going to fucking stick this out together, to the end, for better or worse.”

 

“Nic… do you ever realize how toxic you, and Dean are for each other?”

 

“All the fucking time.  And I’m just as toxic for him as I am for you.”

 

She shook her head, and downed her second shot feeling a little steadier now.

 

Sam sighed, and nodded.

 

* * *

 

“Dean stop!” Sam screamed pulling him back from Metatron. Castiel walked over to Metatron checking over his injuries.  Nic stood in the doorway, just watching.

 

“You were killing him” Sam said to Dean.

 

“I have to take him back” Cas sighed.

 

“Cas, this won’t happen again, I swea –”

 

“No.  Too much has already happened, and I’m still trying to mend fences in Heaven.”

 

“You realize” Metatron panted as Cas pulled him up “That if you _ever_ as for my help again I will choose death.  And you realize that it’s only going to get worse right Dean? You’ll only get worse!”

 

Cas pulled him along.  Metatron stopped, and stared at Nic for a moment.

 

“The fuck you want?” She asked, glaring at him.

 

“ _Novis_ ” He smiled, and Cas jerked him forward.  Nic watched confused as Cas pulled him down the hall.

 

“What the hell did he say to you?” Dean asked.

 

“ _Novis_.” She said.

 

“What does that mean?” Sam asked.

 

“It’s latin for reverse.”

 

“Nic…” Sam said walking up to her.

 

“What?” She asked looking up at him confused.  There was a ringing in her ears, and everything started to spin.

 

“Your nose is bleeding” He said, sounding as confused as she felt.

 

“Shit” Nic said right before she hit the floor, the world going pitch black.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

“He cursed me!” Nic snapped from her hospital bed.  “That fucking angel fuck fucking cursed me!”

 

“Nic you need to calm down it isn’t good for you to get worked up right now” Sam said soothingly.

 

“No, but it’s good for me to sit in this fucking hospital while they run fucking tests that are all going to say the same shit!” She snapped “That I’m fucking twenty-nine years old, and it’s a medical mystery that all of my organs are failing, and that I’m going to be dead by the end of the year!”

 

She laid back in the bed tears of frustration prickling her eyes.  Someone grabbed her hand, and when she opened her eyes again Dean was right there looking at her.

 

“You’re not going to die” He said, and he said it was such certainty that Nic wanted to believe him.  “I’m not going to let you.  We’ll get this fixed, Cas is up in heaven right now talking to Metatron.”

 

“Load of fucking good that’s going to do” Nic shook her head.  Dean sat on the edge of the bed, and leaned in close to Nic.

 

“We’re going to fix this” He said “I promise.”

 

Nic nodded “Okay” She said “Okay. I trust you Dean.”

 

There was a knock on the door.  They all watched as Charlie entered the room.  While Nic had been unconscious for two days while the doctors ran their tests the boys had been fighting to get Charlie back together with… herself.  Her arm was in a sling, having just gotten finished with her own doctors visit.

 

“Hey there gorgeous, how you doing?” Charlie asked.

 

“Better than you” Nic smiled.

 

“Hah.  Good joke I know you’re… you’re… shit, okay, I don’t know where I was going with that, it’s not funny to make a joke about this right now” Charlie shook her head.

 

“Well if I don’t laugh I’ll cry, and that’s the last fucking thing any of us wants.” Nic smiled

 

“When do you get to go home?” Charlie asked.

 

“That’s what they’re trying to figure out right now… if they should even let me go home.  But if I’m going to die, it’s not going to be in a fucking hospital, it’s going to be doing what I do best.  Killing evil shit.”

 

“You’re not dying” Dean said again.

 

“Dean” Sam said calmly.

 

“No! This is just like right after the trials.  I didn’t give up on her then, and I’m not giving up now!”

 

“I’m not giving up!” Sam snapped back “But this time theres no loop hole, theres no miracle!  The only way this can be reversed is if Metatron removes the curse, and he fucking won’t!  He literally reversed all the healing that was done to Nic by two angels!”

 

“Can we not talk about it like I’m not in the fucking room?” Nic groaned.  Both brothers looked away from each other.

 

“Anyway” Charlie spoke up trying to break the awkward silence “I’m going to Italy.”

 

“Italy?” Nic asked.

 

“Got a lead on some ancient texts.  Just maybe I’ll find something that predates well… known history.  Something that will help Dean… maybe help you too.”

 

Nic nodded.

 

“Good luck.”

 

“Luck is for chumps who don’t put their skill points in the right attributes.” Charlie said walking out the door “Later bitches!”

 

“No matter what” Dead spoke up “You’ll be fine.  We just gotta worry about getting you home right now.”

 

* * *

 

“I would do the healing myself if… well if I could spare energy like that again, but I can’t” Cas said stood by Nics bed, holding her hands. “But as we all knew Metatron wouldn’t agree to reverse the spell he cast.  So I brought help.”

 

All eyes went on the new comer in the room.  She was tall, and slender with a pale face, and dark hair.

 

“This is Ariel.”

 

“What’s she supposed to do?” Nic asked.

 

“She fought with me in the civil war.  Some loyalties remain for me, and she asked if she could help; she’s going to do all the healing we need to keep you alive until we can lift the spell.  It won’t fix you… but it will stall the damage that has already been done.”

 

“Good enough” Nic nodded looking at Ariel “Good enough.”

 

* * *

 

“That will take care of it for now” Ariel said stepping back from Nic as she laid on a bed in the bunker.  She had been released from the hospital yesterday on a tentative agreement that she not strain herself in any way. 

 

But that was a load of shit because she had a hunt to go on.

 

“Thank you” Nic nodded sitting up.  Her chest didn’t hurt nearly as much as before, and the general ache in her body was gone.

 

“You’re not going on the hunt are you?”

 

“Of course I am.  I can’t not go on hunts.  It’s my job.”

 

“But you’re sick.  Why would you want to push yourself like this?” Ariel seemed confused. 

 

“Because no one else is gonna do this job like I can.  I can’t spend my last days sitting around, waiting to die.  I have to be out there while I still can, fighting as much as I can.”

 

“It’s not sensible –” Ariel tried to argue.

 

“I don’t give a fuck about sensible.  I give a fuck about doing the right thing, and doing my job as good as I can till I fucking can’t anymore.”

 

Ariel nodded.

 

“Good luck then, on your hunt.”

 

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

 

“What’re we hunting?” Nic demanded as she walked into the library with her go bag.

 

“Well me, and Sam are following up some leads in Pendleton, Oregon. You’re staying here, and getting some rest.” Dean looked at her.  She narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance.

 

“What happened in Oregon?” Nic asked.

 

“Man disappeared in a flash of light” Sam said “But Dean’s right.  You should just stay here, and rest.”

 

“Or I go with, and we hunt like we always do?” Nic suggested.

 

“No” Dean shook his head “Absolutely not.  Nic you’re…”

 

“I’m dying.  But I can still do my fucking job.”

 

“I just… I just want you to be where it’s safe” Dean said quietly “Where I know you’re okay.”

 

“What better place then right there with you?”

 

“You’ve never been safe when you’re with us” Dean said.

 

Nic ended up staying home from the hunt.

 

* * *

 

They found Nic in her magical pantry when they arrived home from the hunt; Dean with a new outlook on things.  A hope that he could control the Mark, and the urges that it gave him.

 

“What are you doing in here?” Dean asked walking into Nic’s “witch office”.

 

“Just… trying to figure things out, but everything I’ve tried just… doesn’t work” Nic shook her head sitting down at her desk.

 

“What are you trying to figure out?” Dean asked looking at the mess of herbs, and powders, and crystals, and candles.

 

“A way to save you… a way to save me, to – to fix all this shit!”

 

“It’ll be okay” Dean said.

 

“Stop saying that!” Nic yelled “Stop fucking saying that, because nothing is going to be okay Dean! I’m dying, and you’re going off the fucking deep end!”

 

Dean walked around the desk, and pulled Nic out of her chair.  He wrapped her in a hug.

 

“You know how I know everythings gonna work out for us?” Dean asked quietly.

 

“How?” Nic asked, and her voice sounded so broken.

 

“Because we’re Winchesters.  Winchesters always find a way, and I promise Sweetheart, I fucking promise that when we make it through this, I’ll make you a Winchester for real.”

 

“Dean…”

 

Dean stepped back, holding Nic’s shoulders so that she would look him in the eye.

 

“I might not have a ring, or – or a whole lotta prospects, and I’ll probably be dead in a ditch by forty but… goddamnit Nic if you’ll have me, you’ll have me for the rest of our lives.  I can at least promise you that much.”

 

Nic stood on her tip toes, and grabbed Dean’s face pulling him into the first kiss he, and she had had in months.  When Dean pulled back it was with a smile on his face.

 

“That a yes?”

 

“Have I ever really said no to you?”

 

“Well… there was that one time.”

 

Nic smacked Deans arm, and they both laughed.

 

“I mean it though Sweetheart.  You, and me to the end.  I always knew it would be us too.”

 

“Yeah?” She asked smiling “When’d you know I was the one?”

 

Dean thought for a moment before he answered.

 

“The year I sold my soul.” He started “You stood by me through it all, and Sam too of course but… you’ve seen me at my best, and my worst, and you never once tried to change me, or blame me, or anything else.  You, and me Nic?  We’re the forever kind of thing.”

 

“Forever” She agreed.

 

* * *

 

It was six months later when it happened.

 

The book of the damned had been found, and Charlie had almost cracked it, and Nic had begun preparing everything needed for the spell to remove the mark with the help of Rowena, and Charlie.

 

Nic’s heart gave out before they could make the final preparations.

 

Everyone who mattered had gathered for Nic’s funeral.

 

“Hell of a forever huh Sweetheart?” Dean asked taking a swig off the bottle of whiskey in his hands.

 

“Maybe you should slow down Dean” Sam said quietly.

 

“Maybe you should mind your own fucking business” Dean snapped.

 

“If you think for a second that I’m not as fucking broken over this as you –”

 

“That’s just it Sam.  We both loved her, but we both loved her differently.  So yeah, you’re hurt too, but you don’t know how fucking hurt I am!”

 

“Guys, this isn’t the place” Charlie snapped walking over to the brothers “There are other people grieving too.”

 

“Maybe you should go inside Dean” Sam suggested.  “We’re… about to light the pyre.”

 

“Fuck off” Dean shoved past Sam heading back towards the bunker.

 

They continued with the plan to remove the Mark of Cain the next day.

 

It was a success.

 

 

And the Darkness was released.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ending may feel a little abrupt, but I couldn't seem to find another way to make things progress naturally without it seeming like they were dragging on. Anyway this is the end... for now. Who's to say there won't be a part three, after all Amara brought back Mary, who's to say shouldn't couldn't bring other people back?


End file.
